Only a mother knows what she feels the day she becomes a ‘Mom’. It is not an easy journey but undoubtedly the most beautiful one. Kids do not come with a manual and thus, the things to know as a first time mom are too many and sometimes, overwhelming.
I remember, when I was pregnant, I read this quote:
“Life will be full of ups and downs; it will be one tough ride. But your love for your child will be the anchor that will see you through it all”
After being a mother for 4 years, the above quote, I think, beautifully summarizes what motherhood is all about. When a child is born a mother is born too. But very seldom you have someone with you to give some essential first time mom tips.
This journey of a new mom throws surprises daily and there are many things to know as a first time mom. You might have read many books on child care or you could have attended various classes, but trust me, there is nothing that will prepare you for motherhood.
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Important Things to Know as a First Time Mom
There are many pregnancy and parenting books and also the option to attend classes but most of these only talk of the do’s and don’ts of motherhood. No one will ever tell you about the challenges you will face as a new mother and give you some much needed first time mom tips.
If you want to know some of the most surprising things to know as a first time mom, you should read, The Most Surprising Things as a First Time Mom.
Being prepared for the challenges is never an option because you do not know what is coming your way. Though, you enjoy being with your little one but motherhood in the early days is far from the Instagram worthy pictures you see.
From my experience, let me tell you some things to know as a first time mom, which might be able to prepare you a bit. Why I say a bit is because each child is unique and nothing prepares for this rollercoaster ride you are on.
You Will Feel Like Milk Machine
When you are being discharged from the hospital and on the checkups, that follow, your pediatrician will stress on the point that the new born needs to be fed 2-2.5 hours’. Little Miss A was a preemie so I was told, this is something I need to take a lot of care about. The nurse had told us to wake her up and feed even if she does not ask for milk.
As a new parent, you might find yourself putting alarms and sleeping at night to feed the baby though they are not interested. It also happens that the child has small amounts of milk at every feed and thus, feels hungry more often. Babies have a small tummy and they need to drink milk more frequently.
I was not able to exclusively breastfeed so each feeding session was for half an hour. I would feed her for 15 minutes and then supplement with formula. We were also not allowed to use bottles so had to feed her using a feeder cup (Medela adjustable reusable cup) which took time as well.
As a new mom at some part of the day or more so the night you are bound to feel that all you do is feed the baby. Feeding, burping and if pumping, will take care of a large part of the day. There is no sure shot way to determine their schedule and thus, all you feel like is a milk machine.
You Will Have No Sleep Pattern
All books, Google and of course your doctor will tell you the number of hours the baby will sleep or rather should sleep. Each child is different and thus, do not compare and lose your sleep over it.
The child will not, rather cannot, force himself to be up. He will sleep as and when they want to and there is nothing you can do to set a schedule for a new born baby. As you have to feed them and be with them, unless you have hired help, it will be tough for you to have a sleep pattern and you will always feel sleep deprived.
You Cannot Spoil Them
You will get a lot of unsolicited advice on how you must not hold your baby too much. I beg to differ. This baby is too small to be spoilt. In fact, the more he is hugged by his mother, he will grow better.
I remember when I used to put the baby to sleep in my arms or hug her, I was told, I will repent. She is 4 today and sleeps on her own and will not sleep in my arms. And I will not lie, I terribly miss it.
They need you right now as you are all they know in this world. Hug them, hold them and kiss them. After all, you waited for so long for them.
If you want to know the benefits of showing physical affection to your child, you should read the post, Why Should You Hug and Kiss Your Baby?
Fed Is Best
Undoubtedly, breast milk is the best and the most nutritious milk you can give to your baby. And it is free. Though everyone will make you believe it is the best thing to do and how easy it will be, breastfeeding is not simple for many.
Breastfeeding comes with some problems and this, I believe is one of the most important things to know as a first time mom. If you are not aware, read the post, The Most Common Breastfeeding Problems.
Be patient and be prepared. If you cannot feed exclusively, supplement with formula and not cow milk. Do not lose sleep how your child will have low immunity or will not be intelligent. Just remember, fed is best.
The Poop
You will find changes in the poop color and pattern and please do not get hyper every time. It is normal for them. As long as the poop is not black or red, do not stress about it. They can poop a few times during the day or poop every alternate day. Don’t worry. This is all normal. Enjoy changing diapers.
Farts and Burps are Good
When a new born drinks milk they tend to swallow a lot of air too. Thus, it is important for them to get rid of it either by farting or by burping. Burping is important. Read the post, Why is It Important to Burp the Baby.
Massages, cycling and tummy time are some of the ways you can use to help them release the gas and be comfortable. Remember, a child gets very uncomfortable when they are not able to pass gas and can cry a lot. Colic is a problem and as the child cannot tell you, you need to understand.
Do Not Forget Yourself
Yes, you have just landed with a huge responsibility, but please do not ignore your health. You need to relax and destress before this new life gets on to you. Eat well, drink lots and lots of water and other healthy liquids like coconut water etc. and sleep when you can with the baby.
Read the post, New Moms Do Not Forget Yourself
Meeting guests and keeping the family happy is not the need of the hour. If you can manage, get a massage as this helps you in your recovery.
If you want to know everything about a massage, you must read this post on Post-natal massage.
Do not forget your body has gone through a lot during pregnancy and in child birth, be it a normal delivery or a c section. Thus, you must give it time to recoup by taking good care of yourself.
Ask for Help
It is common to see that the mother loses all importance as soon as the baby arrives. No one is really bothered about them and most of the people say this is how it is now. Please don’t believe in this. You are still an important person and if not for anyone else for your baby.
You might feel depressed and postpartum depression is common. Meet people, join support groups or talk to a doctor. Do not let this depression take a toll on you. Mummy, you need to be fit for your baby because no one else can take care of the little angel like you can.
If you would like to read more about Postpartum depression, read this post by me on Mommywize, A Simple Guide for New Moms to Understand Postpartum Depression.
Sleep Deprived
Sleep deprivation is the worst side effect of motherhood. It takes a toll on you mentally and physically. Thus, most of the things you are not able to do or go wrong are because of lack of sleep. Try and take power naps with the baby when you can.
If you are a new parent, you must read the post, Survival Guide for Parent’s Sleep Deprivation.
You are Perfect
Everyone around you will compare you and your baby to others around. Comparing your child to another in the family or to that of a friend is the worst thing you will hear, but the most common.
Most of the times these comments are negative. Just IGNORE them. You are a good mother and never ever doubt yourself. There is no one who gives certificates to perfect mothers, and even if they did, you will get one for sure.
The Most Important First Time Mom TIp
Children do not come with a manual but they are beautiful. They will change daily and so will their habits. As a mother, be ready for change as these kids are very unpredictable. Each day will throw a surprise.
One of the most important things to know as a first time mom is that you must enjoy each moment and most of the times to ensure to retain your mental sanctity, ignore people around you, be it family or friends. You are the mother and you know the best! Never doubt yourself.
Uffffff I got almost all these ‘free advice’ tips. I used to wonder how my baby could get spoilt if I hugged her. Hugs are good for anyone. Maybe their aim was to not get them attached so they can handle it when we died? But that’s such a unnecessary thing to do…
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