Times have changed and so have the parenting styles. The way our parents brought us up is very different from how they were brought up and history repeated itself and our generation is doing it differently yet again. When I speak to my grandma she tells me how it was solely her job to take on the responsibility of the kids and thus, she till date thinks like that. Fathers in those times were only the breadwinners, and then came our fathers who apart from keeping their professional commitments were more involved and now is the new generation of “penguin dads”.
You must be wondering why penguins. Not many would know that in penguins the mother only lays the eggs and then the father took on the responsibility to take care of the egg until it hatches and of the baby. Fathers in today’s times are undoubtedly penguin dads. The new age father is equally involved in raising the child and is not shy to do anything for the baby. Fatherhood is also a beautiful journey for the men of today and is comparable to that of motherhood.
When my parents say how amazed they are at the way my husband is with our daughter, I feel proud and blessed that little Miss A has the best dad in the world and no wonder she loves him so much (She is super possessive of him). Many times our parenting styles and thoughts do not match but that is a just a difference in opinion because, at the end of the day, we both want the best for her in our perspective. I cannot say he is wrong, he is different. (I love this dialogue from Yeh Jawani Hain Diwani).
Since the time A was born, rather since the time I conceived, he was there. From my ultrasounds to my checkups to holding my hand when I was on the operation table to be the first one to see her to the time being in the NICU to see her, he was there. Even in the NICU, he learned how to feed her, and I think I did not even change diapers till we got her home. A is two now and apart from breastfeeding (he would have done it if he could), I really cannot think of anything he has not done. I am mentally at ease to leave her home if he is there. She prefers he reads out to her. Weekends she does not want him to leave her for a minute too. He has participated in everything and is enjoying this journey with us.
Penguins might be born with the idea of bringing up their kids in a certain way but when it comes to humans they are not born with it. It is about a change in perspective and mindset and a willingness to be an equal partner. There are still many dads who don’t do anything and are living with the idea that it is not their job. For them taking the responsibility is a ‘job’ and not something they enjoy.
The way the relationship of a father and child shapes up is dependent on how much and in what way the father was there when the child was growing up. My hubby as I said earlier did everything from changing diapers to washing her bottles to put her on his shoulder and put her to sleep when she cried at night to feed her to bathe her. For A, there is nothing that mummy does which papa cannot do (apart from being strict).
Little Miss A is a priority for both of us and we both try and do everything just to spend more time with her. I have made a choice to be with her at all times, but I know he never got that choice and he has to work, and then the little time and energy he has after a long day of work is for her. He is there for her always and for everything. His dedication and involvement in her growing years will definitely create a bond that will be the most beautiful for them. It is said the bond between a father and child is shaped by a mother by the way she bridges the gap, but I think the new age dads do not let that gap exist.
The bond and the relationship I have with my dad is because of his presence when I was growing up. And I know the one Little Miss A and Senior A will have will be stronger and more beautiful. I am lucky to have a husband who is a great father and she is the luckiest to have the best papa in the world. Happy Father’s Day to A’s hero!! He does not know it but I often say this, I never knew how much I loved him until I saw how much he loved our life, our daughter.