High Time We Stop Judging

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sridevi

The mummy groups on Facebook and other social media are a boon many times, but they also are a reflection of our society. It is amazing to see innumerable posts where the focus just shifts from the main point and everyone starts giving their ideas. Yes, these groups are for sharing views and opinion, but in order to do so have we not become insensitive? This weekend there were few things which got me thinking on how we have changed and how we emotionless we have become.

To start with, I woke up on Sunday morning to a sad and shocking news of the untimely death of the Bollywood Superstar, Sridevi. I have never been a die-hard Sridevi fan but some of her movies are my all-time favourites and till date some of the songs picturised on her are on my playlist of the songs I love. She was an extremely talented actress and it is undoubtedly, a big loss to the film industry. But wait, is it not a bigger and irreparable loss for her family? Imagine the state of a daughter who is about to enter the most crucial phase of her life and her mother will not be there to support her. Imagine a husband who has lived with her for two decades and is used to her being around for every small thing. How would the family and friends be feeling who were seen dancing and celebrating with her at a family wedding just four days back?

These were my first few thoughts when I read the news but obviously not of many others. There were posts and tweets which spoke how her efforts to look young and slim at the age of 54 were a cause of her death. Some went to the extent to say how karma came back as she had married a man who was already married with two kids. How her husband’s first wife could not see the debut of her son and thus, God did not let her enjoy the same moment. Guys, please STOP!!

What is wrong with us? How have we become so insensitive? Forget what she did, just remember she was a mother like you and me and how devastating this news is for her daughters. Who are you and me to judge her and her life, the family knows best. For the record, do we all not make some kind of an effort to look beautiful and slim? Are we all not living in a society where looks do matter? She belongs to this industry where it is all about the looks. If she did anything to maintain herself, it was her decision. Did we all not love how gorgeous she looked in all those Manish Malhotra outfits. Come on, it was her choice to look the way she wanted to and she did look like a Diva at that age too.

Coming to the point how she married a man who was already married. So, the man here was married, not she. If the man has decided to leave his wife and children and be with this woman he is madly in love with, who is to be blamed. How is it her fault? Her fault was she also loved this man. And obviously, they were madly in love as they have been married for 20 years now. When a relationship does not work, it is never the fault of one person. Everyone involved is to be blamed. And what happened in the Kapoor household, is something you and I cannot judge. The fact the children from his first wife have a cordial relationship with her, shows how everyone accepted the situation.

Now coming back to the Karma. If the first wife suffered from cancer and died without seeing her son’s debut film, how is the poor lady here at fault. If one child did not get to enjoy the success with his mother, why should the other child be punished, and that too for no fault of hers. The loss of their mothers has left a void in their lives which no one can fill, so let us not increase their pain.

sridevi family

As a mother, I know how dependent my child is on me. As a wife, I know there are many things my husband cannot do without me. Let us just be sensitive enough to feel the pain they are going through right now. She died of a cardiac arrest which can happen to you and me, even if we don’t go under the knife. She was a beautiful woman, and let her remain in everyone’s thoughts like that. Let us stop being insensitive and post things which in one way or the other reach her family.

At the end of the day each child, irrespective of their age, needs their mother the most. Posting these insensitive comments will just add to their grief. Most of us will not know the family personally, but let us just support them in such times with anything we can. Support a mother who gave up her career for her daughters, support a wife who loved her husband and fought the world to be with him, support an actress who changed the way actresses were looked at. Rest in Peace, Sridevi Ji.

17 COMMENTS

  1. Very well written. An unexpected tragedy it indeed is – but that alone should not be the reason for feeling smug about ones own choices or lack there of. I was not a fan of Sridevi , and watched only a couple of movies. That said I admire her grit, the willingness to work her way into an industry that stereotyped women. I believe she was the first female actor to command a salary over 10 lakhs , while the superstars were getting paid the same amount for years .
    Respect!

  2. Bang on! It made me sad to watch the rubbish the poor girls are witnessing while awaiting the last goodbyes to their mother. It was how judgemental we have become as a society.

  3. Thank you all for your comments. It feels nice that there are many people still who are sensitive and respect people around them. Cheers!!! Thank you for reading the blog!!

  4. Fully support whatever u have written….I am a mother and the first thing that came to my mind on hearing this news was she left the world without seeing her daughter’s for the last time…how painful it is for the girls. Once upon a time I was a big fan of hers and even now I fancy her admire her for her looks and will always keep doing so in future…Rip sridevi

  5. Too good Arushi! Take a bow for the very well written piece…so far,this is the best obituary written for Sridevi!We are only endorsing Being Human products,it’s long forgotten to be humane and compassionate towards another woman!No wonder many men gather the guts to say that women are each other’s worst enemy. A lady who managed to marry the powerful man she loved with her everything, who did not allow herself to be exploited and left for social reasons, who nutured her kids herself, who fought to be accepted in the family…is worth a million gun salute!!After reading your post,I felt guilty for even allowing some of the negative thoughts into my mind!My all time favourite actress and a real diva-Rest in Peace!

    • Thank you so much for appreciating, Nandini.. Reading your comment ensures there are humane and compassionate people still who make the world worth living!!!

  6. […] I am a Bollywood fan but I rarely comment and write on the lives of celebrities. They are considered to be public properties and I am sure they know how to handle the invasion of privacy. But, when someone passes away, please have a heart, stop judging them, stop commenting without thinking, and please do not be insensitive. Last time, I had read such comments and wrote was when Sridevi Ji passed away and today, I could not control myself. (You may like to read the post, High Time We Stop Judging) […]

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