Are you starting to toilet train your baby and you want to know the right toilet training age?
Or you are a mother and have heard remarks like these?
“Your daughter is three years old and she is still in diapers? You have missed the right toilet training age”.
“In our times, we would potty train the kids before their first birthday. We do not understand what you mothers do”.
If you had a toddler who was not toilet trained until he or she was 2 years old, I am sure the above comments sound very familiar.
Potty training is undoubtedly one of the biggest milestones in the life of a child, and trust me,for a parent too. This is a skill that all kids have to learn and do learn. We need to remember that you cannot force them as you think they have reached the right toilet training age. And who decided what is the right age to potty train?
Some kids take time while many get trained early on. In my opinion, it is more about the signs your child is ready to potty train and not the right age.
Table of Contents
Potty Training Toddler in Earlier Times
In earlier times, kids were undoubtedly trained at an early age. I am sure you have heard stories from your grandmothers and mothers. It is not difficult for grown-up children and adults to forget the regression and the accidents that must have followed the early training.
The view on toilet training in earlier times was very different from the one mothers of our generation have. Children were essentially, conditioned and not taught to understand their body signals. The availability of diapers was less in those times and cleaning many cloth diapers was exhausting.
No research says that says toilet training a child before 18 months will do them any damage. What needs to be taken care of is that no unrealistic expectations are set and the parents are not harsh to the child. It is unlikely that children below the age of 1, have any bowel or bladder control and will also not have the physical skills needed.
Why Early Training Can Be Harmful
A child needs to be emotionally, cognitively, and physically ready to be able to completely toilet train. And there is no right toilet training age for that. For some children, when they are introduced to potty training early, they have severe consequences. Some children are known to hold back their pee or poop or some take an aversion to the pot and it becomes difficult to train them for a long time. Many kids who are trained early have constipation. Some of the known harmful effects are:
- Bedwetting, poop and pee accidents
- Extra-large poops
- Recurrent urinary infection
- Pain in the belly
- Pooping more than twice or infrequent pooping
- Pope stains and itchy anus
Forcing a child because you feel your child has reached the right toilet training age may cause anxiety. Anxiety in toddlers must be taken seriously.
If you feel your child gets anxious, read our post, 6 Tips to Handle Anxiety in Toddlers to know more.
Signs Your Child is Ready to Potty Train
As mentioned earlier, there is no right toilet training age. You should only start when you think the child is ready. If not, it leads to frustration for both the child and the parents and many times, it backfires. No two children are the same, but there are some signs you can look out for to know your child is ready.
If you want to know the signs to look for read this post, How to Tell When Your Baby is Ready?
Interest
The child will express the desire to use a potty and will show interest. This time can be used to read more relevant content and talking about it frequently and watch videos so that the child shows more eagerness to try.
Understands
Most children start sitting in a particular position or hide between curtains and furniture or go to another room when they want to pee or poop. This clearly shows the child has started understanding the body signals.
Fewer Diaper Changes
The child will have a dry diaper for longer times. This indicates the capacity of the bladder is increasing which is extremely important for toilet training a toddler.
Can Undress
The child should be able to pull down their pants is a great sign to know that your child is ready to potty train. This time the main aim should be to dress them in clothes which are easy to take off and wear for them.
Sit Still
The child should have the patience to sit and poop. The child should be able to sit still and not get irritated as they have to sit for some time on the pot. Some kids need something to keep them busy. Giving some toys or books to make them sit. Picture and board books are the best choice for such times, especially the ones you read to your child in the first year.
To know the best books for babies, read the post, Best Books for Babies You Must Have in the First Year
Can Run Well
The child when gets potty trained, they get this sudden urge to poop or pee and thus, they will need to run to the washroom. The child should be able to run well so that they can reach in time and avoid the accidents.
Can you see signs your child is ready to potty train and are looking for a potty chair, the post, Best potty Chair in India will help.
How Will You Know You Have Reached the Right Toilet Training Age?
Usually, it is seen that kids are not ready to be toilet trained till they are 2 and some get trained at around 3.5 years. All that you need to remember there is no potty training schedule you need to follow and push the child before they show signs of being ready.
There is no way there is a developmental delay if your child is 3 and is not potty trained. All kids are different, some take less time and some take more. If there is any doubt, you should always speak to your doctor.
If you are stressed about your child not being potty trained, do not compare. You must read our post, Positive Parenting Tips for Child Development to understand how comparing can harm the development of your child/
Tips for Potty Training Toddler
If you can notice signs your child is ready to potty train, there is much more to do. I am not trying to scare anyone but you cannot be diaper free now. The transition will take some time and there are some tips which can help it to be smooth.
Talk About the Positives
Talking to children helps. Before you decide to go completely diaper free talk to them about how big they have become and can flush the way mummy does. You can also get them the underwear they like and make it sound very exciting. When you make the process exciting for them, they will be eager to start soon.
Make it Sound Natural
Do not tell them their diapers are smelly or yucky. Explain to them that peeing and pooping is normal. Use normal words so that they feel grown up and are excited about it. Also keep in mind the security of the child, teach them normal names for their private parts and never give baby terms.
Show Your Toddler
It always helps to use the bathroom in front of them. This I know takes away the ‘me’ time but will need to be done. It is natural for kids to do what their parents are doing and they will also notice what the right things to do are.
Get a Potty
There are various kinds of potty seats available. One way is to let the baby choose what they like as this increases the excitement. Else, buy something which you feel is good and create excitement around it.
How to Start Toilet Training
Once the child is ready and you can see signs your child is ready to potty train and you have managed the transition, it is time to start. It might be a tough ride, but the key here is patience.
Pull Up Diapers
Once the child is ready, make them wear the pull up diapers. This will help them to pull then down like underwear. This avoids accidents and if there is one, all that needs to be done is take off the diaper.
Go Diaper Free
The best way for a child to understand body signals is to let them go diaper free. The baby will slowly understand there is no diaper and if they do not want to be wet, they need to go to the washroom. Try and keep them close to the pot so that they can react when they feel the urge.
Reward Them
Tell them they are growing up and reward them when they use the washroom. Give them small rewards and slowly phase them out when you see they are becoming more comfortable.
Patience
Please understand being potty trained is a big thing for them and nagging them or scolding will not help. The child will take time and can take a few weeks too. Thus, patience is the key. Have realistic expectations and do not overreact when there is an accident. Do not fight over this or compare them to other kids. If you still feel, they need time, just give it.
My Experience
If you want to know my experience with Little Miss A, I will say it was not difficult though it took time. I finally trained her after her 3rd birthday. I tried a few times but she never was ready as she was scared to sit on the potty seat. Some things that I did which you might want to try:
The Preparation
- Bought her a potty seat with a ladder which she loved. With this seat slowly her fear went away
- A month before her birthday I started talking about it and would say let us say bye to diapers. You will be three and now you can wear Barbie and Frozen panties. Took her shopping to buy them.
- By the time it was her birthday, she was super excited about it and was looking forward to it. Constant reminder from her teacher in school also helped
The Process
- After she turned three, I hid the diapers and let her roam around in her panties. We started with some hours in a day and then slowly increased the time
- For every time she peed or pooped in the pot, she was given one star on her potty training chart. When she collected 5 she got a small gift or a chocolate. Once the accidents were less, it was 10 stars and after 2 weeks we took off the chart.
Night Time Training
- Night time was not that easy and took time. After we went diaper free during the day we started the nights.
- My belief is to do both simultaneously to avoid confusion. One thing must be noted here is that the night diaper should be dry or should have very less pee to manage night time toilet training
- Initially we put an alarm for twice a night and put her on the pot. In a few days we reduced to one and then stopped
- There were occasional accidents and after a few she started waking us up in case she had to pee
- It took some time and patience, but we managed
- For many night time training takes more time than day time, so patience is the key
Each child is different and the way we transitioned might not happen with others. Some kids get trained in the day easily but take longer for night training. No one knows your child better than you, so observe them, understand them and support them. You should never force them or punish them.
Final Verdict on the Right Toilet Training Age
Toilet training is not easy and there is no right toilet training age. The process can be a daunting one. The thing is to remember is to know the signs and know your child is ready to be potty trained. It will take a lot of patience and work to go completely diaper free. Focus on day time training and then gradually move to night time. Never lose hope as the child will be trained eventually. Have you ever seen 10-year-old in diapers? Give them time and they will do it.
“Take a Deep Breath and Remember: Potty Training is a developmental process, not a race”
What do you think is the right toilet training age? Let me know in comments.
Great tips! My sister in law is a new mother and struggles with taking care of her child. Your post is going to help her for sure:)
Thanks a lot, Srishti. Glad you find the post helpful. 🙂
Thanks for providing me with this information i can tell you this might help so many new moms out there, and trust me you get their blessings
Thank you so much for appreciating and blessings are the best gift always. I will be really happy if my post can help moms because as a mom I understand what parents go through when toilet training their kids due to societal pressure. 🙂
For 2 months I tried tirelessly to train my child to pee and poo. I got tired when he was not understanding and I decided to try again in the coming few months. But one fine day he followed me to the loo (a mother is never alone) asked what I was doing and started peeing only in the bathroom soon. Today it’s over 9 months now with 1 accident alone. Our poo and night time story was also child-led diaper free. So, I agree with you Arushi from my experience that kids would learn with the right time at any age.
I know it gets tiring and frustrating when you keep trying and the child does not understand. I think its the pressure which gets on to both the parent and the child. With my daughter I have seen, when she wants to do something there is no issue at all else its like a battle. Thank you for reading. Btw i loved your posts on the evolution of parenting and it takes a village. 🙂
Thank you Arushi. You made my day. literally.
Toilet training is very crucial and the procedure varies from mother to mother. My son was poop trained pretty early but the pee training happened almost a year later. Different kids and different problems. Loved your tips. they are practical and realistic.
Thanks. You are so right. Each kid is different and the mother knows best how to handle them. Glad you found the tips practical and realistic. 🙂
These are some excellent tips that will be very helpful for parents who will start to potty train their little ones. As a mum to twins, I resorted to just plonking them on the pot till they did their job! I am so glad that phase is far behind me.
It is a relief when the phase is over. Its nice your twins were ok with you plonking them on the pot. Mine would just keep shouting till the day she decided it was a good thing.. Thanks for reading. 🙂
Well this is such a well researched post. I didn’t know the pitfalls of early training in some cases. So that was an eye opener too!
Early training works for some and does not for others. There are pitfalls and i have seen many such cases in the family. Thanks for reading, Sonia. 🙂
Can’t say I am the right audience for this as both myself and my kids are toilet trained! Nevertheless an interesting read!
Glad you are past the stage of toilet training your kids. Glad you still found the post interesting. Thanks 🙂
I know it’s really a task training toddlers for right toilet habits. The detailed post of yours has covered almost all the aspects.
#MyFriendAlexa
#AditiReads
aditikapur.com
Thanks Aditi. 🙂
Very helpful post for me ,I am going to follow each and every tip for my daughter , once she touched the right age of potty training.Thanks for sharing!!!!
Very helpful post for me ,I am going to follow each and every tip for my daughter , once she reached at the right age of potty training.Thank you so much for sharing.
Glad you like the post and it is helpful to you. Would love to hear your experience and what worked for you once done. Happy parenting 🙂
The post brought back my days as the mother of a toddler trying hard to potty train him. Your tips are quite valuable for moms in that group at present. And, on a different note, really like your blog title!
Great tips! I used most of them while I was potty training my daughter. And yes when they are rewarded they perform well. This is indeed a golden tip. #MyFriendAlexa #ShubhraReads
Rewarding them definitely makes many tasks easier. But there also a balance needs to be made. Thanks for reading and liking the post.
That was a very exhaustive and thorough article on potty training. Many times we tend to force things on children not realizing the harm it does. This article will definitely serve as an eye opener for many people.
Thanks for reading. Glad you found it helpful. 🙂
It’s quite enlighting to learn all these especially when I am not a mother myself yet. Thank you for sharing a topic that we should speak out on.
Thank you so much. Glad you like the post. 🙂
Toilet training is very crucial stage and a must for all the kids and you have given few excellent tips which are really helpful for the new parents
Thanks. Glad you found the post helpful. 🙂
A very good post for new moms who are struggling with the potty training issue. Well one thing is for sure, every kid is different and their ways and time of learning things will differ too.
SO true. The day we all accept each child is different, the stress levels that come with parenting will reduce I am sure. 🙂
That’s a wonderfully researched post. You have covered everything relevant and the tips are really good. I have trained one and am yet to train the younger one. This post should come handy 🙂
Glad the post is helpful. Thanks for reading. 🙂
Interesting article. My son was potty trainrd recently at 3. 5 yrs. I think the most important factor for a parent is to understand that each child is different and meets benchmarks when they are ready instead of pushing them towards things. You have highlighted that quite well in the article.
So true. Each child is different and we have to work at their pace and not at ours. Thanks for reading and liking the post. 🙂
Being patient and making it a positive experience is the key to get young children potty trained. You have really explained very well.
Patience and positivity are two important Ps of parenting. Glad you like the post. 🙂
Awesome tips. I am going to pass this detail to my cousins.
These are some very detailed tips and tricks. I too trained my son post his 2nd birthday once the diaper was dry every morning.
That’s nice. A dry diaper is one of the best signs to know they are ready. 🙂
Much needed article. My younger one is 2 1/2 years old. Very detailed post. I agree that potty training should not go on too long. Every child is different so we need to understand their cues before we start training them.
I agree. Taking cues from the child is the best way to a stress-free experience. 🙂
Absolutely loved reading your article. It’s well written and easy to follow . #damurureads #myfriendalexa damurucreations.com
Thank you so much. Glad you liked it 🙂
Such a relief to read your post, the society pressured us more than family.
I believe we shouldn’t force kids, slowly help them
This topic need to be address, many parents feel pressured by the society #millennialscribbler
Societal pressure is an issue in many things. I always say a mother knows best. Let her decide and let her learn from her mistakes. 🙂
It needs patience and one should wait till 2 Years of age to get thier child trained properly.
Yes, I agree. starting at 2 and then taking the clue from the child is the best way to do it.
Toilet training is an important milestone, well done
Thank you so much 🙂
My son is 17 months and he indicates us when he wants to poop, we are living diaper free at home since he is 8 months and gradually moving towards pee training.. but I really liked all your suggestions especially to have patience .. I in my childhood have seen many aunties hitting their child for peeing or pooping in social gatherings, that was really sad.
Patience is the most important in parenting. It solves many problems. 🙂
These are some wonderful tips. I started potty training my son after his first birthday but realized that he wasn’t ready. When he turned two, I started the training again, and he got potty trained within a few weeks. You are absolutely right, once they start understanding, they can be easily trained.
Glad you agree. Thanks for reading. 🙂
OMG…I feel so ancient. So much to learn about potty training. My son was potty trained at 6 months when he started sitting. Now it has become a huge task. I am sure your pointers will benefit many new mothers. All the best to you. #wordsmithkaurreads #MyFriendAlexa #BlogChatter
Not ancient. Just that we have to see when kids are ready and what works for you!! Thanks for reading 🙂
This is one such area which needs to be taken seriously. A post which will help many new moms in toilet training.
Glad you find the post helpful!
Very Informative!
Thank you 🙂
#journeysays At present there is lot to learn about parenting online. Your article is really promising for new mommies.. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks. Glad you like the post. 🙂
This is a comprehensive well researched post and I really enjoyed reading it. I agree with your points and would refer this to all new mothers!
Thank you so much. Glad you like the post and find it helpful
A thought provoking and well researched article. Simultaneously we must also think how to change the social mores associated with toilet training!
Thanks for reading!! I agree this also needs attention!!
Thank you so much for writing in detail. I’m actually training my daughter now. Now that she is able to understand and ask for her needs I feel this is teh right time she must be taught.
Yes this is indeed the right time. Take the cue from the child and you will not have a problem 🙂
This is such a detailed post on toilet training and I agree thst the early training can be definitely harmful.
Thanks for reading and I am glad you like it. 🙂
What an apt timing. With my little one about to complete a year have been hearing this continuously however I feel she isn’t ready yet. This post is damn helpful.
Thanks. Glad you find the post helpful 🙂
A very helpful post for the parents who are planning to potty train their kids. With my twins, I never hurried to train them and went with the flow. One was trained before her third bday however the other one took a little more time.
Lovely. That I feel is the right way but every mom does what suits her. Glad you find the post helpful 🙂
Well written, well researched and so many pointers from your own experience. When I was toilet training my younger one, it took a long time. It is now that I realise that he was not ready for it.
Yes sometimes we do not understand. However, we learn in this journey by making mistakes. Thanks for reading. I am glad you liked the post.
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