When you see people around you getting pregnant and having babies, you feel this is a simple game. To add to this wrong notion, we have our very own Bollywood movies, where getting pregnant seems to be a cakewalk. When we both decided to have a baby, we thought this would be simple and never in our wildest dreams, we had thought this would be the most difficult phases of our life.
When you and your partner decide to have a baby, one of the most natural emotions you will go through are those of impatience, frustration and disappointment. When you start planning your family, there are many changes that happen in your life. Even the most lovable couples go through this phase of disappointment and some even play the blame game.
I still remember the struggle we went through and looking back I can think of some tips which help all couples overcome this disappointment. Some of them are:
Accept the Pain
Many people do not talk about what they feel and keep bottling it up inside them. Some refuse to accept the fact that they are disappointed and continue to show as if everything is fine. Trust me, this just makes life more difficult. I am not saying share your feelings with anyone you meet, but make sure you have someone whom you can speak to easily.
Don’t Expect Miracles
Movies are non-sense and you need to know that getting pregnant the first time you try is very difficult. It is not that this is impossible but the chances are about 20% I will say. You should be patient until about six months and then consult a doctor. Normal couples with no medical issues are known to get pregnant after 1.5 years of trying.
Don’t Play the Blame Game
Sex anyway becomes mechanical when you try to conceive as you feel it’s a compulsion to try during the ‘window’. To add to this if you play the blame game, things will only get tougher. Some people blame work or some say they waited too long or some blame each other’s habits. Refrain from blaming each other and just remember you are not the only one who is taking so long to conceive.
The disappointment should not come in your relationship with your partner. He might also be feeling disappointed like you every month. You both have to be in this together and stress will affect your relationship. Try and have conversations and discuss your feelings. As long as you are together and on the same page, nothing will go wrong and you will overcome all obstacles.
Health is Wealth
Do not let your health get affected if you are not getting pregnant. Continue your exercise regime and eat healthy as this helps you in getting pregnant as well. You have to take care of yourself as when the little bundle of joy comes you will need to be there for him.
Do Not Get Obsessed
I remember I had reached a point where I had made this an obsession. Do not do this. Everything in my life revolved around one thing only. I remember my doctor, my husband and my parents all saw this and directly or indirectly told me to take a break. It is said the more you stress the more time it takes. Going through it, I know it is easier said than done. There was a time I decided to stop trying, and the next month I got pregnant. Your hormones also react to stress and love.
Don’t Be Shy
If you have tried for six months and have not got lucky, go to a doctor. There is nothing wrong with you if you decide to go to a doctor. in fact, the doctor can guide you and even if there is some problem, it will get sorted at the earliest. Many times, the doctor becomes your anchor in the tough times. Mine surely was, and I can never thank her enough for this. She gave the positivity that was much needed in my life.
Getting pregnant is important but do not make it the only reason for your existence. Lead a life as normal as possible. Concentrate on other things and may be try doing something new. Smile and laugh as much as you can and spread happiness around you. There is a right time for everything and God will send your precious little one to you, when he feels you are ready.
“Everything comes to you at the right time. Be patient”