I am a Guilty Mother, I Do Not Follow Rules

I remember before we had Little Miss A, my husband and I would see children in restaurants watching phones and iPads. We both thought this was irresponsible behavior of the parents who cannot keep the child occupied. I would see children throwing tantrums and again I would think, these are things I will never allow as a parent. When I conceived, I read many books to know what is the right way to bring up a child. No one ever told, a child does not come with a manual and no books or Google can help you raise a good child.

After being a mother for nearly 3 years now I know two things for sure. First, kids will be kids and you cannot expect them to be perfect as per the parenting book and secondly, it is ok to break the so-called parenting rules. Parenting is a journey and you need to enjoy it. Living life as per a book written by someone who does not know you or your child will cause more disappointments and you will somewhere forget to enjoy this phase with your cute bundle of joy. Many people think I am a laid back mother who does not follow rules, but so be it, I am guilty and I am thoroughly enjoying trying to raise a not so perfect but wonderful kid.

The Rules I Have Broken

No Screen for More than 30 minutes

What did you say, 30 minutes? Please!!! I need some mental peace and a break from the constant demands or go for a walk when she wants me to play with her. My savior is the screen and one hour of it in a day does not do any harm to me or her. Afterall Peppa Pig needs audience too and did I tell you how much we are loving her British accent. We read, we play and then we watch TV too. After all, everyone needs entertainment.

I Do Bribe Her

Sometimes it is needed to bribe her to make her do things. Little Miss A is extremely temperamental and thus, to get her to do things she has decided she will not do is a task and this is when a chocolate or a surprise gift comes in handy. Yes, I agree this should not become a habit and you need to be strict most of the times, but sometimes rewarding them does help and make life easy.

I Co Sleep

This is one rule which was never a rule for me. How can you not cuddle your child and sleep with them? I have always been sure that I will co sleep with her and in my opinion children who co sleep are emotionally strong and have a better relationship with their parents. (Read our post, Co Sleeping affects Your Child’s Personality). All kids grow up and want their space and bed, so enjoy the hugs and kicks till then. (You may like to read our post, When are the Kids Too Old to Sleep with Mom and Dad)

Free Play

We do a few classes in a week after school but there are days where there is no agenda and she can enjoy free play. Life will give stress to them so why not let them enjoy these few care free and stress free years. In fact, I did not send her to school till she was 2.5 years old, and many people were of the opinion I was not letting her socialize and become independent. (You May like to read our post, First Day of School, a Confused Mother)

 I Do Give in

Call it the terrible twos or how head strong they are, but all kids throw tantrums. I do try my best; I am strict sometimes and I give bribe but there are times where I just give up and give in to the tantrums. Occasionally you need to let them do what they want to. You cannot dictate things to them all the time. Choose what things you need to be strict about and where some leniency will not cause harm. (You may like to read our post, The Two’s Are Terrific and Not Terrible)

There is no thing as a perfect parent. All we need to try is to be a real one. The journey is a beautiful one, you will follow some rules and break some. There will be moments of being guilty and feel you are a horrible parent. But when the little one comes and gives you a hug and says I Love you, you will know you are the perfect parent to your perfect child. Do not listen to what people say, just follow your instincts, “a mother’s instinct is always the right instinct”. Set your rules, break a few and fully enjoy being a mother and remember, you are doing a fab job mummy.

Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do.