Do you remember the conversations about baby milestones in the first year? In our last post for Blogchatter A to Z we wrote each child is unique and we must not compare, but are these not the first basis of comparison. Developmental milestones are certain physical skills or behaviours a baby should develop at a certain age.
As many of you would know Little Miss A was a pre-term baby born at 34 weeks. Before being discharged we were told to not expect her to reach milestones as per her real age but calculate her adjusted age. For a new parent, it becomes a bit of stress as people would call the baby ‘slow’. I will not lie that I took help from my best friend, Google, and read up on what all she should do and when. As if the struggle to breastfeed was not enough, I had one more reason to worry and lose sleep over; baby milestones in the first year.
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Work with the Doctor
When I took Little Miss A for her vaccination at about 2 months, the doctor asked me some questions about her. And to my surprise, all my answers were yes. Yay, my baby was doing it all! My little champ. I felt like a mother who just won a gold medal. At the end of the appointment, I asked the paediatrician that how concerned we should be about her milestones and if she was growing fine. He laughed and said, fine? She is super fine and the milestones are for me to see how she is growing. You just enjoy her company and come for a follow-up visit when I call.
A few days before this I had realised that I have to stop stressing about feeds and now the stress of the milestones was gone too. Wow!! I felt like a free bird out of a cage, and suddenly now I saw her like my little toy to have fun with it and not an examination I had to pass.
When it comes to milestones, ask your doctor and trust him. You need to give them time and they will develop and grow at their own pace. If there is a concern, the doctor will tell you. If you have a doubt, ask your doctor and not Google or family or friends.
(You may like to read our post, How to Choose a Paediatrician for Your Baby)
(You may like to read our post, Growth Spurts in the First Year)
They Could Be Late and Lazy
In the first few months, Little Miss A was doing everything the doctor asked us at check-ups (not expected). She slept through the night and started solids also a few days before turning 6 months old as the doctor suggested it was needed. I do not remember any time her doctor being worried or concerned.
Yes, the family was worried a bit as she did not start crawling. She was not crawling on her first birthday and now the issue was when she will walk if she has not passed the first hurdle yet. I had stopped stressing about these things long back so it did not bother me. I used to play with her and try and encourage her but never forced her. My baby was or rather is lazy so she likes to not exert herself. She started walking by holding things and again was called lethargic as she did not put too much effort. But one fine day, a few days before she turned 16 months, she started walking. Whoa!!! No one cared after that day so I wonder what was the stress all about?
My Thought
Till the time she was not toilet trained which was at 3 years, I was often questioned on a lot of things she did or did not do. My answer has always been, “Have you seen a 30-year-old who does not walk or wear diapers or sleeps with the parents’’. If not, then don’t worry be happy.
If there is a delay in milestones discuss with your doctor and clear your doubts. You are not a bad parent, just that your baby has a mind of their own. Some will walk late some will talk late and some are super achievers. Mine was not, and I don’t want her to be one. She is the perfect baby I could have asked for.
(You may like to read our post, Want to Know the Right Toilet Training Age)
Things to Notice for Baby Milestones in First Year
As I have said the only person to trust is your doctor. As a mother, you need to be alert but not hyper and there are some things you can notice and discuss with your paediatrician:
- The baby does not respond to a noise or does not move eyes when things come closer or go far
- They do not inquisitive or react to things happening around them
- They do not hold their head up by 4 months
- They are unable able to sit without support by 10 months
- If they are not interested in supporting their weight or do not use both hands and legs by 12 months
Homework for you
If you are a mother worrying about baby milestones in the first year or later, stop right away. Be patient, love them unconditionally and be there for them always. If they are late or there is any concern, it will get fine and your doctor will be your best guide. Trust your mummy instincts as they would never go wrong. Doctors are good students and do their homework and classwork both well, and thus, you do yours and leave their part of the job to them.
Do not let the milestone calendar be a cause of stress. All you need to do is cuddle them, play with them and enjoy your moments and create memories.
This was a post on W and I would love to read your comments on it. Did you worry about the milestones? I will wait to hear from you. See you tomorrow with X for the Blogchatter A to Z. I cannot believe it we have come this far and just few more days to go now.
Completely agree, worrying won’t help ever.
Trust your doctor and more even trust your baby,
every child is different so go slow and with baby’s pace always.
True. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Kudos to you Arushi for writing on topics that aren’t always comfortable but necessary for new patents to be aware of. While milestones are important stages in the kids life, as parents we need to understand the fact that every kid is unique my son walked when he was 11 months old while my cousin’ kid started walking in his 9th month. Very important and informative post
Thank you so much Sonia. Your comment made by day. 🙂
Miss A started walking at 13 months. The family was really worried that why she has still not started walking as her father started at 9 months. I was advised to use the walker but I denied. Today no one cares that she started walking at 13 months and not 9 months. I guess we should let them be and have fun with children as much as possible. After all, they are going to grow up one day.
So true. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Sooner or later children learn the basic skills. By stressing out, or pushing them, comparing them with other kids is not going to help. Every kid is unique and has his/her pace. What you wrote in the concluding image is so true Arushi. “What they won’t do is be with you forever.”
Thanks Alpana 🙂
Every baby is unique. The parents and the doctor are the best people to assess their growth and milestones.
Could not agree more. Thanks for stopping by
We compare a lot Arushi..my younger grandson wasn’t walking either till last year holiday in Thailand..he just got up and walked 🙂 All in good time.
Yeah. we stress too much. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
You’re so right about looking at it in the long run! There’s no 30 year old who is not able to do the basic things, haha. This message of not stressing over milestones and letting the baby grow at its own pace is wonderful. 🙂
Thank you so much. Glad you like the post
I am so Glad by reading this post-Arushi, once again you spoke my mind, I was in the same worrisome situation when My daughter was delaying in crawling and walking but when her doc said,” as a doctor, I should b worried first if the baby has not started walking but I am not so enjoy time with her if she will not start walking until 18 months then it is a matter of worry not before that”, but my daughter suddenly started walking, in 15th month.
Thanks for reading and i am glad you like the post. All kids are different and all we should do is enjoy time with them
I was a worried mom hovering over baby milestones a lot! over the time, it naturally gave way. This is quite an encouraging and informative post for moms fretting over children’s milestones. Thanks for sharing this.
Thanks for reading. I am glad you like the post 🙂
Ya my son was also potty trained after turning 3 and there was really no reason for me to despair because when he was ready, it happened so quickly and efficiently. We’ve got to let kids be kids without thrusting our expectations on them. It’s just not fair!
I agree. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
You were a smarter mom than me Arushi, my kid too was born preterm at 32 weeks and the doctors in my family made me fret over his milestones like holding his neck and all and kept sending me to occupational therapists, now I wonder how naive I was.
We all are naive and learnt through experience. Thanks for reading 🙂
Interesting point of view.
I hope you and yours are staying safe and healthy during this difficult time.
Thank you so much for stopping by. It means a lot to me. All is well here and I hope you and your family are safe as well.
Yes, we start comparing our kids even before they turn one. Six months ho gaya baitha nahi, 7 months ho gaye daat nahi aaye, 8months ho gaye crawl nahi kiya… We should let them grow at own pace. If parents are so worried they must speak to paediatric. Every milestone has enough time margin.
Yes and there is a limit till which the doctor does not bother but the parents are put under too much stress. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Just forwarded the post link to my sis. A helpful post!! loved it
Thank you so much. Glad you liked it 🙂
Every child has their own time to achieve their milestone. Some achieve early some late. My son started to speak few words only after he was 2.5 yrs. I just kept talking to him and made him do few exercises that helps to speak. Today he can narrate stories better than her sister. Very informative and much-needed post for most of the parents who worry for their kid’s milestones.
Thanks Debi. I am glad you like the post 🙂
I completely agree with you Arushi, as a caring parent we all tend to behave overcautious and over protective for every tiny thing of our kids. worrying for mile stone is one of the common issue and most of us had faced this one or more time during early childhood years of our kids. I am so glad that you had given some amazing advice that will help a lot to parents in reducing their parental anxiety . end of the post was so amazing, and I really loved how you had conclude the whole topic.
Thank you as always for reading. i am glad you liked the post
A lovely post that is a definite must read by every new parent. Also that the same topic does bring in a lot of stress when kids do not achieve them at the stipulated time
Thank you so much 🙂
Every child is different . I remember when my daughter born. My daughter start crawling in early age whereas my son was slow in speaking and crawling but to my surprise he learn walking very son.
Yes each child is different. Thanks for reading
My son was born 3.5 weeks before the due date. I too googled for each and everything about kids milestones. He crawled when we was 8 months old and I can’t tell you how scared I was! Then my husband talked to our paediatrician and he asked him to talk to me. He explained and told me that touchwood my son was absolutely fine. He was a healthy and a happy baby. He told me that each child is different. Some kids can crawl at 6 months too. Then I realised how much I was stressing out . After a few days my son started crawling and once he started crawling, it used to be so difficult catch him!
Haha! That is motherhood. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
[…] is case with milestones as well and parents tend to get stressed. Parents should read the post, Why Should You Not Worry About Baby Milestones in the First Year. A growth spurt in babies approximately happens at the following […]
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