It all started the day I saw him for the first time. Tiny legs, clenched fists, thin lips; that very moment is imprinted in my mind and soul forever. Then started the vicious circle of feeding, changing, and cradling which seemed to be an endless affair for me but as they say “Time flies”, from an infant tucked cozily in his cradle he has grown into a toddler squeaking, squealing and roaming throughout the house , trying to notice every activity of mine and imitating some as well.
Motherhood has been a roller coaster ride for me. Sleepless nights, yawning afternoons and an exhausted mind has taught me that being a mother is not a cakewalk at all. With every passing day, as my baby grows up I feel the journey is getting tougher. When an infant, he used to be such a nice soul, just feeding him, changing his nappies and putting him to sleep were the only tasks related to him and I used to admire him silently for being me such a good baby . But, the day he started crawling and then walking, I started realizing what its being a mother.
The most difficult task is to understand what your baby wants or what she/he is trying to communicate with you. When infants, this is not an issue as the needs and wants were limited. With time your baby grows up and she/he will want everything around themselves. As a mother, you have to be highly patient and try to connect with your baby just to understand their needs. But, then this is easier said than done. There have been times when I have lost my patience, willing to just yell at the top of my voice and then realizing that my baby understands simply nothing.
One of the most challenging factors in my journey so far, has been the diet and the feeding habits of my baby. When an infant and on liquid diet, it was comparatively an easier task. But, gradually when I started introducing my baby to solid food items, I could see the hardships. Understanding his taste buds has been difficult, the moment I feel we are on the same page regarding his food habits; my baby just changes his taste. Now, I think this is a problem faced by majority of the mothers. They don’t eat when you feed them and they start yelling out of hunger in no-time. The not so rapidly increasing weight of your baby, advices pouring in from people around you and sometimes the pediatrician as well can make you feel confused. The only piece of advice that works here is to have patience. Furthermore, handling baby’s tantrums can be another reason giving you nightmares. Sometimes, babies can be too cranky to handle ;the impulsiveness, loud cries, tearful faces etc. can make you really go crazy at times.
The journey of motherhood is a combination of both pleasure as well as agonies. Being a stay at home mom, I myself have felt lonely and irritated many a times. The fact that you need to keep an eye on your little one always, run after her/him, and check what she/he is doing every now and then itself can piss you off. Sometimes, you might be willing to just lie down lazily and read a book or just take a break and watch your favorite web series or movie, then from nowhere appears your little devil snatching your book or meddling up with your laptop or phone. This can be irritating in the long run and you start feeling frustrated; but as already said time will fly. In no-time your little one will grow up understanding your needs and will only leave you with the memories of her/his childhood.
At the end of the day, when I tuck down my little munchkin into his bed with a peaceful smile on his sleeping face; that very moment I forget all the cries, shouts, yells; I burrow all my frustration, disappointments deep into my heart and just feel like cuddling him and pecking him more and more, like forever. As, I sat today to pen down this write-up, I could feel that my baby has grown up so fast over the last one year and I felt like saying “let me love you a little more before you’re not little anymore”. Being a mother is a blessing in itself; so let’s make this blissful journey a memory to cherish.