Fathers and Work Life Balance

If you thought its only working mothers who faced the great muddle of ‘work-life balance’ then think again. As a parent, fathers face this complication as much as mothers do. I see my husband trying to wrap up all work and spend more time with Little Miss A. I have heard many of my friends say in dismay when they stay up late working that they feel like a bad dad because they unable to spend enough time with their kids at home. Well, the struggle is real. Most men feel that the parental responsibilities often collide and conflict with the demands at their job.

Men, just like women are in the constant struggle between reaching the executive positions at job and maintaining a quality family life. Mothers still have an option to take a break or not work, but the father never gets this opportunity. In a recent interview conducted by The Guardian on work life balance among men, one of the male interviewees stated that men are expected to work hard at the job and earn fatter pay-checks; which in the current world is an absolute misconception. A father brings more to the table for his family than just a fatter pay-check.

With the rise of dual earning families In India from 25% in the 1960s to 60% in the 2010s, most fathers now recognise that child care and contributing to the household chores is a shared responsibility. Keeping aside the cultural stigma that a woman should be taking care of the household and men stay out and earn bread for the family which is on a long road for change.

Tips for Fathers to Maintain a Work Life Balance

Fathers, rather men, unlike women cannot multi task, but still are trying to balance all responsibilities and be good fathers to their children. Some tips which might help them to maintain the balance:

• Prioritize your work. Assess the work and family priorities and then weigh them fairly to make most of your time at work and with family.
• You cannot be the super dad who works hard, earn a handsome amount, attends the son’s soccer sessions and attends the daughter’s recitation session at the same time taking them out on vacation and having breakfast with them daily. And the good news is, you really do not have to be the excelling in everything. Maintaining a work life balance is ‘more of a journey than a destination!’
• Talk to your spouse/partner about the current state of things and if you wish to make any changes to that and hear her out as well. Have open and honest discussions, which might be difficult at times, on how the current state of things are and what changes each must make and the support that would be needed to get there.
• Look for options at work place that might give you some time to spend with your family without compromising on your work and abandoning your chance of getting promoted. For instance, flexibility like work from home, flexible timings and shrinking the working days in a week by putting in extra hours the other days. Look out for internal policies or talk to your reporting manager to look out for such options.
• Plan and schedule tasks. Start with small ones and make space for some more work and life priorities. Make notes of your priorities outside work in your calendar. Having them noted in the calendar reduces the chances of you missing out on the priorities or getting work on the way.
• Make friends in your neighbourhood with dad’s facing similar struggle with work life balance. The more you communicate, the more you can exchange ideas to make your situation at work and home better.

We significantly talk about gender equality associated with women and their struggle for equal pay, hold a position in the company’s board and the like. While today women can take 6 months maternity break, paternity leave still is of only 5 days, much less in certain organisations. Mothers are expected to look after the child, quit their jobs if they must but isn’t that the time a father’s contribution to child care equally important? In the current situation, where both the partners are earning, contributing equally to the household, sharing the tasks equally; we need to have a shift in the mindset that work life balance is meant only for working mothers.