It has been more than one and a half year I posted on the blog.
A year!!!
That pause was something I never imagined because I began writing when Miss A was born, and the blog grew alongside her-like almost another child of mine. So last week, I finally sat down and asked myself: What happened? What pushed me to the point where I did not feel like writing and that too for so long.
The answer in words is short and simple, ‘too many expectations’.
Simple as it sounds, expectations are the root cause of a lot of issues and unhappiness in our lives. They have the ability to unknowingly, seep into everything we do. When handled well, expectations can motivate and inspire us to be our best version, but when they spiral out of control, they come together with disappointment and resentment.
Coming back to me.
I had expectations from the blog.
Expectations from my child.
Expectations from my readers.
And most of all, expectations from myself.
Somewhere along the way, making the blog ‘successful’ with numbers, validation and followers became more important than my love for writing. And that is when I lost something very precious-the love of writing from my heart. The fact is that you cannot write freely when you constantly measure outcomes. Being a Thinkaholic was never meant to be a business. It was and it still is and it will be, my safe space. A place where I can write what I feel, which might resonate with someone else.
Coming back to the root cause, expectations. I have always maintained expectations can kill your happiness. Are there not times in your life, when you just followed your heart, and everything turned out fine. But when you set high expectations from yourself or from people around you, life gives you a shock.
Table of Contents
Do Expectations Kill Happiness?
Before we read about the relationship between expectations and happiness, let us understand what expectations are.
Expectations, essentially, are your strong beliefs that something you think will happen. Expectations affect not only our lives but also the lives of the people around us as they can bend or shape your reality. We do not realize, but what we expect from ourselves and our lives and from those around us affects us physically and emotionally.
When Expectations Turn into Disappointment
This is a common question but it is difficult to answer because different expectations hurt in a different way. The expectations we set for ourselves are essentially goals we have. We attach a time line and rigid ideasabout how things should unfold. But we all forget, life does not follow a script. More than often ourbehaviour, circumstances and energy, falls short of these expectations. And then you are left behind feeling guilty, upset and HURT. I do not mean that we should not have goals. We all must, but then be realistic and learn to go with the flow. Do not let the disappointment hit you that hard, that you stop trying.
Expectations we set for ourselves are more about our hard work and mind set, but then comes the biggest culprit of them all, Expectations from others.
Expecting someone else to be a certain way so that it meets our emotional needs or fit into an imagined version of them, is absolutely not in our control. No one isobligated to be the way we want them to be. There is nothing right or wrong in this, it eventually is depending on someone else for our happiness, which is unfair to your own self. And this is most of the time, painful and upsetting.
Presence over Pressure
So here I am-back.
This time not with a promise of being perfect, but with the intent of being honest and regular.
Writing about parenting, life, learning, unlearning, and everything in between.
Like the famous dialogue from the movie, Dil to Pagal Hain, “Somewhere someone is made for you”, I believe someone somewhere is reading my blog and resonating with it, and may be finding comfort and smiling.
This space, Being a Thinkaholic, will be about thoughts; yours and mine. Thoughts that will flow freely, without expectations and pressure. Most of the posts will be about parenting, because that is one of my biggest teachers in life, but you will also read my views and opinions-may be the ones you do not have to agree with.
This blog is my baby. And this time, there will be no expectations, only reflection, honesty, and a safe place to just be.
