Parents Need to Understand That Every Child is Unique

As parents, we know it every child is unique, but we all compare. It is natural for parents to see another child and start comparing them to theirs. I often feel when no two siblings or twins are the same, who are born from the same genetics, how we can expect two kids from different parents to be the same. And this comparison tamasha starts as soon as the child is born. Do you know what the first thing that is often compared is? The weight at birth. And it just starts from there.

Every child is unique. They have different personalities, their strengths and weaknesses are not the same and they develop at different rates. I am a mother to a preemie so for me, the comparison game started as soon as Little Miss A was born. I was warned to not compare her milestones because they will be delayed and others always compared.

Comparison in the COVID-19 Times

Why I chose this topic for my post is that these days I often see so many parents being under so much pressure especially in the present times when we all are locked in the houses. Many mothers put these amazing videos and perfect pictures of doing activities with their child and the child sitting nicely in a corner playing. You feel jealous and worried about where I am going wrong or what a worthless mother I am.

You do not know what goes behind the shooting for such pictures and videos. Please remember, especially on Instagram, there are many influencers and it is a part of their work. And again, every child is unique, so what their child is enjoying yours might not. There are people posting pictures of perfect looking dishes and kids doing experiments and loads of activities. Do not think you do nothing, you are spending quality time in your way and that is what the child will remember. It might be a good day for them today but it will be one for you tomorrow.    

They Have Their Own Pace

It does not matter what was their weight at birth was or when they started talking. They all are different and will grow at their own pace. Each child has their growth spurts and then they all go through these phases where they do not achieve milestones. It is normal for your child to do things at their pace and that is why we say every child is unique. Not all kids can be good at everything, and instead of comparing and forcing them, we need to give them options and help them find their strengths.

Trust Yourself

Do not start running in the rat race. Have you seen the web series on Zee 5, Mentalhood? It shows how mothers just run in a race and want their kids to be the best in everything. In the bargain, there is a lot to lose. To know how comparison affects a child, read our post, Positive Parenting Tips for Child Development. The issue is we set high standards of parenting for ourselves and in order to meet those, we start putting pressure on the child by comparing them. The needs of your child are different from the others, and thus, you might need to parent them in a different way. Parents especially are often judged and this is stressful for parents but we cannot pass this stress to our little flowers who are just blooming. You all are perfect mothers, trust yourself, and stay confident.

We All Are In This Together    

Though each parent thinks they are alone in their parenting journey but it is not the case. Every child is unique but when you share your problems and concerns, you will find someone in the same boat as you. My experience says when you Google any problem of your child you will find someone or some content about your problem. The groups on social media are also a boon, but you must be careful as there will be a lot of negative people there as well.

5 Quotes on Every Child is Unique

Every time you feel you are coming under pressure and start comparing them, you need to calmly sit and see your child and you will know like any other, your kid is different and you know how to handle them. I love these quotes and they often help me in trying to see things from a different perspective.

“Every child is a different kind of flower, and all together, make this world a beautiful garden.

“Don’t compare your child to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.”

“Every child has a different learning style and pace. Each child is unique, not only capable of learning but also capable of succeeding.”

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”     

“Stop comparing children. Always remember a ship can sail and a plane can fly. If you want the opposite to happen, they’ll stay useless for the rest of their lives.”

Conclusion

Comparing your child and pressurizing him can be detrimental to his growth. Yes, as parents, sometimes we need to push them to bring the best out in them but like many other things, this is a balancing act as well. If you feel the child is being forced into something like a sport or an activity, you might need to stop pushing them. Sometimes kids are generally disinterested in things, so we need to help them find something they love by maybe giving a choice. I know this all sounds like a perfect scenario and parenting is not like that. As I said earlier, only you know how to handle your child, but remember every child is unique and so are you and you both make a beautiful and perfect team.