It is Tough to Spoil Your New Born

When your baby is born, along with sleepless nights and stress, one thing that comes is free and unsolicited advice. You are a new mother, thus, everyone around you thinks it is their birth right to teach you how to bring up your child. I remember I got loads of it for issues like breastfeeding to co-sleeping to diapers to carrying my baby. If you are a mother, you will relate to what I am saying.

I couldn’t help but wonder—if not me, then who will carry her?
And more importantly… if I can’t hold my own baby, then whom should I hug, cuddle, and love?

The truth is simple: it is impossible to spoil a newborn baby.

For nine months, the baby stays inside the mother, safe, warm, and protected. Their world is quiet and secure. And suddenly, they are brought into this loud, bright, unfamiliar world. At that moment, the only thing that makes them feel safe again is their mother’s touch.

Babies cry because they have

Babies don’t cry to trouble us.
They cry because that is their only way to communicate.

A newborn cannot speak, cannot express discomfort, hunger, fear, or tiredness. Crying is their language.

And apart from milk, their biggest need is something even more basic—comfort and love.

As a mother, I strongly believe it is our responsibility to respond to our baby’s needs in the best way possible. When we hold them, comfort them, and soothe them, they start feeling secure. That feeling of security builds trust.

And once a baby feels safe and protected, you’ll notice something beautiful—their crying reduces naturally.

A strong bond between baby and parents creates a happier baby.

Another thing that I have always felt in other areas too, is that what we do for our kids is something that is need of the hour. If you pick up a crying child does that mean you will need to pick up a 10-year-old in your lap and walk around. We cannot make a new born dependent, as they are born dependent. They learn to do things on their own as they grow up. Nature also makes them dependent and this is a need we as parents need to react to. This is not the time to make them self-sufficient and independent.

A mother’s love for her new born cannot spoil them. We as adults cannot even fathom the psychological and developmental changes a baby goes through, and in these times, they want comfort and security of their parents. If we ignore them to ensure we are not spoiling them will make them insecure and more irritable.

My parenting mantra is to be able to raise an emotionally strong and independent child. I am not a psychologist or a perfect mother, but I strongly feel, when we raise an emotionally stable child who believes in you, half the battle is won. Be it co sleeping, or feeding her on my own or picking her up and hugging her zillion times in a day, I do it all to be able to ensure she is confident and secured. As kids grow, we learn when and where to set boundaries. Once they are two, they understand things and have a little reasoning power. When they start crawling and walking, they will want to be independent and this feeling will just grow.

As long as they are small, we should cuddle and hug them as much as can. We must follow our motherly instincts as no one will ever understand a child better than the mother. They will not want to be picked up for long so enjoy till it lasts. Trust me, we do not spoil them, all we do is to give them the love, comfort and security that they need.  Remember, “You will never have this day with your child again. Tomorrow they will be older than they are today. Today is a gift.”