We often receive numerous WhatsApp messages about Celebrating a Woman’s Roles and praising her for everything she does. She plays the role of a daughter, a wife, a daughter-in-law, and, of course, a mother, along with many other responsibilities. Sometimes, I wonder whether Celebrating a Woman’s Roles truly appreciates her efforts or silently highlights the stress she faces while balancing these relationships. Society often expects a perfect woman to manage all roles flawlessly, but in reality, while trying to make one person happy, another relationship often gets affected.
When a girl gets married, she is expected to transform overnight and adjust herself according to her new family. She is expected to follow the ‘rules’ of her new home, often without a proper support system, and must quickly adapt to unfamiliar expectations. Why is a woman expected to forget everything she learned and practiced for years and simply follow what others expect from her? She is often asked to leave behind the values her parents taught her and learn new ones from her in-laws. While she is told this is now her home and she must live according to its ways — eat, drink, sleep, and live by new customs — it raises an important question. What happens to the house where she was born? Why does that stop being her home?
A daughter in law should fulfil all her duties but what about the duties she has towards her parents. They are at the same stage in life as the in laws, and they need same level of attention. She has an option to go for her parents’ birthdays, but does the same choice exist when it comes to the in laws. It is not acceptable if she misses something in the in laws side of the family. She must celebrate all festivals in the new house, but why do her parents need to celebrate them alone. Why can she not enjoy them in both places?
In the talks of women rights and feminism, I wonder what will change. Even the most educated families in the country have a different perspective of a boy and a girl. A son is expected to take care of his parents but what about the girl’s parents. Forget the boy making an effort, her parents also would not let her do the same.
And it does not stop at the in laws and parents, it goes on to the extended families. Does a boy have the same responsibility towards the girl’s family as his wife has towards his? Not many women, I think, will stand up against these norms the society has created, because, no one will support them; not even their parents.
Rules for a man and a woman are different in our society and this will not change. A husband can give more importance to his work than to his wife, but if the wife has a priority apart from him, it is not acceptable. In many households, a woman’s work is given importance in proportion to the money she earns. It is not about her work satisfaction but about what she earns.
The tussle does not stop between the parents and the in laws. It continues to several other relationships. She has to choose between home and work, husband and child, a daughter and a wife, besides the others. At every step she has to prove her love and loyalty versus the other. I think in giving her so much responsibility, we have just burdened with the pressure of her relationships.
A woman spends most of her life managing various relationships of her life. We have to appreciate the efforts she puts in to each one of them. We all must help her in this journey and not force her to make choices. Let her enjoy being a daughter, a daughter in law, a wife and a mother. She deserves the love and the support.
