High Time We Stop Judging

The mummy groups on Facebook and other social media are a boon many times, but they also are a reflection of our society. It is amazing to see innumerable posts where the focus just shifts from the main point and everyone starts giving their ideas. Yes, these groups are for sharing views and opinion, but in order to do so have we not become insensitive? This weekend there were few things which got me thinking on how we have changed and how we emotionless we have become.

To start with, I woke up on Sunday morning to a sad and shocking news of the untimely death of the Bollywood Superstar, Sridevi. I have never been a die-hard Sridevi fan but some of her movies are my all-time favourites and till date some of the songs picturised on her are on my playlist of the songs I love. She was an extremely talented actress and it is undoubtedly, a big loss to the film industry. But wait, is it not a bigger and irreparable loss for her family? Imagine the state of a daughter who is about to enter the most crucial phase of her life and her mother will not be there to support her. Imagine a husband who has lived with her for two decades and is used to her being around for every small thing. How would the family and friends be feeling who were seen dancing and celebrating with her at a family wedding just four days back?

These were my first few thoughts when I read the news but obviously not of many others. There were posts and tweets which spoke how her efforts to look young and slim at the age of 54 were a cause of her death. Some went to the extent to say how karma came back as she had married a man who was already married with two kids. How her husband’s first wife could not see the debut of her son and thus, God did not let her enjoy the same moment. Guys, please STOP!!

What is wrong with us? How have we become so insensitive? Forget what she did, just remember she was a mother like you and me and how devastating this news is for her daughters. Who are you and me to judge her and her life, the family knows best. For the record, do we all not make some kind of an effort to look beautiful and slim? Are we all not living in a society where looks do matter? She belongs to this industry where it is all about the looks. If she did anything to maintain herself, it was her decision. Did we all not love how gorgeous she looked in all those Manish Malhotra outfits. Come on, it was her choice to look the way she wanted to and she did look like a Diva at that age too.

Coming to the point how she married a man who was already married. So, the man here was married, not she. If the man has decided to leave his wife and children and be with this woman he is madly in love with, who is to be blamed. How is it her fault? Her fault was she also loved this man. And obviously, they were madly in love as they have been married for 20 years now. When a relationship does not work, it is never the fault of one person. Everyone involved is to be blamed. And what happened in the Kapoor household, is something you and I cannot judge. The fact the children from his first wife have a cordial relationship with her, shows how everyone accepted the situation.

Now coming back to the Karma. If the first wife suffered from cancer and died without seeing her son’s debut film, how is the poor lady here at fault. If one child did not get to enjoy the success with his mother, why should the other child be punished, and that too for no fault of hers. The loss of their mothers has left a void in their lives which no one can fill, so let us not increase their pain.

As a mother, I know how dependent my child is on me. As a wife, I know there are many things my husband cannot do without me. Let us just be sensitive enough to feel the pain they are going through right now. She died of a cardiac arrest which can happen to you and me, even if we don’t go under the knife. She was a beautiful woman, and let her remain in everyone’s thoughts like that. Let us stop being insensitive and post things which in one way or the other reach her family.

At the end of the day each child, irrespective of their age, needs their mother the most. Posting these insensitive comments will just add to their grief. Most of us will not know the family personally, but let us just support them in such times with anything we can. Support a mother who gave up her career for her daughters, support a wife who loved her husband and fought the world to be with him, support an actress who changed the way actresses were looked at. Rest in Peace, Sridevi Ji.