Today, while casually flipping through TV channels, I came across a new commercial by Comfort. The ad shows a mother teaching her son that doing laundry is his responsibility too, not just his sister’s.
After the famous Ariel advertisement, this commercial also challenges the old stereotype that household chores-especially laundry-are only a woman’s job. And honestly, ads like these matter, because one of the biggest reasons behind many social issues in our country is gender inequality.
India has always followed a patriarchal culture, where gender roles are clearly divided. Men are often seen as superior because they earn money, and that gives them the “right” to choose what they want to do or avoid. Women, on the other hand, are expected to manage everything at home without questioning.
And that brings me to a very common thought:
Does your husband help you… or is he simply doing his part?
Because many times, what is called “help” is actually just basic responsibility.
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Real Change Starts Inside the House
We often see campaigns on social media, candle marches, and awareness drives. But I truly believe that the day we break gender roles inside our homes, we will automatically start seeing change in society too.
I am a stay-at-home mom and I have house help, and according to some people, that disqualifies me from having an opinion on this topic. Many feel that since I don’t “earn money,” I should be the one doing all domestic duties as a wife and mother.
Maybe they think they’re right.
But then I look at the women around me-women who work full-time jobs and still manage homes, children, and responsibilities. And I feel every woman, working or not, has the right to speak about what is fair and what is not.
Why Is a Father Appreciated for Doing Basic Parenting?
When my daughter was born last year, countless people-including family members-kept telling me how lucky I was to have a “hands-on” husband.
They praised him because he didn’t hesitate to change diapers.
But the real question is:
Why was it such a big deal when he did it, but considered my duty when I did it?
Is she not his child too?
Is he doing me a favour by parenting his own daughter?
Even today, parenting is still seen as the mother’s primary responsibility. And sadly, mothers are rarely appreciated for what they do every single day.
I don’t remember anyone telling me, even once, that I was a good mother. Maybe I wasn’t perfect-but I’m sure I wasn’t bad either.
The only person who truly appreciated me was my husband, and I genuinely love and respect him for that.
Housework Is Celebrated When a Man Does It
Even in educated and modern families, the mindset hasn’t changed much.
When a man helps in household work, it is treated like an achievement. People praise him as if he has done something extraordinary.
The reason is simple: most men are raised believing that household work is not their job. They are not taught to clean up after themselves, manage budgets, or live without depending on their mothers.
It becomes normal for them to:
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leave dirty clothes on the floor
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avoid cleaning cupboards
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not participate in daily chores
But women are trained from childhood to manage everything. Whether she has help or not, whether she earns or not, she is expected to run the house efficiently—even with limited resources.
And if women can manage work outside the home, why can’t men manage work inside the home?
We Also Contribute to This Problem
The truth is, we women also unknowingly encourage this mindset.
When our husbands do a small task, we celebrate it as if they’ve climbed Mount Everest.
For example, when my husband cooks, everyone—including me—praises him. But when I clean the room or manage the house without help, nobody appreciates it. It’s considered “normal.”
If he doesn’t clean, it is accepted because “he’s a man.”
But if I don’t cook or don’t manage something, people judge me instantly.
The rules are different for men and women, and we’ve normalized it for too long.
The Real Issue: Choice vs Duty
This is not only about mindset. It’s also about responsibility.
Men are given the choice to do household work, but women are told it is their duty.
When a father feeds the child, people call him “helpful.”
But when a mother feeds the child, she is simply doing her job.
We use words like:
- involved father
- hands-on dad
- supportive husband
- perfect partner
But what words do we use for mothers?
None.
Because for society, a mother is expected to do everything without recognition. And ironically, mothers are the most judged people in the world-no matter how much they do, it is never enough.
