“If you don’t care about what people think, you already passed the first step to success.”-Paulo Coelho.
It’s a human tendency to be appreciated and accepted by people around us. Most of us often wonder how a particular action and reaction would be perceived by others and if we will be judged by others. And to an extent, this is valid because we do get judged for our actions and do hear people passing on their criticism and speak adversely about it. But, does it really matter as long as you are happy and sure of what you are doing? If doing something you like makes you happy, letting you live your life to the fullest and without regrets, the opinions and thoughts of people about you should not really matter.
There is another way to look at it. Let’s say, your mom or your spouse make an opinion about you which you do not agree with. Should that matter? The way we feel about people having an opinion about us is decided in our formative years. If you had a troubled childhood, when you were belittled, you can either be considering to much about people’s opinions or shrug them off. However, if you were treated well and were self-confident of what you were an are and take ownership of your actions, people’s opinions will not matter and you will let them pass by without even batting an eyelid. But we cannot disregard the opinion of people who mean something to us. I would pay more attention to my mother’s opinion compared to an acquaintance. Because, sometimes a developmental criticism can help us evolve and grow. For instance, I would pay attention if my mom said one of my actions seemed disrespectful and the same goes for my spouse; I would stop for a while to consider the opinion if it came from a colleague or an acquaintance. I would shrug it off if it came from a stranger. Again, you need to assess the quality of opinion before taking them into consideration.
It is crucial to keep in mind that people will have opinions about you. Sometimes it is not because of something wrong in you, but because of their own emotional needs. Unless it comes from a close person whom you value significantly, these opinions should not really bother you. If you are still not convinced enough or unsure how to let go of such negative opinions, here are few reasons why you should not care what others think about you:
- It is your life and your decision. No one can make an opinion about you and hinder you from taking a risk and living your life. You make your decisions, if you fail, it is a learning. If you succeed, you know you are doing it right. Criticism for being a failure at a task does no mean that you play safe and do not explore your hidden talents. Your worth is what you possess. No one can take them away from you with few illogical comments.
- You know what you need and what works the best for you. You may see few of your friends climbing the ladder of success easily while you lag and work your way up through hard-work. As they say, everybody lives in their own time zone. Criticism and comparison with others which belittles you is not something worth paying a heed. Take ownership of your actions, do your own research and make your own decisions. Things which might seem necessary and feasible for few, may not be the right option for you. Do not go with the flow and tread a path that everyone else is taking.
- Live your dreams. Often people say things to you when you try to pursue your dreams. ‘This is not an age to take such risks’, ‘Not many get success in this path’ and the like. If you are passionate about something, go for it. Someone else is not going to live your life for you or take on the regrets you have for not trying. At the end of the day, you are the one who will reap results of your choices. Good or bad, you will still be contended that you tried and did not let your dreams die with you.
- People and their opinions change. Their opinions, emotional needs and personality change. And thus, it is impossible for you to stick to their opinions and expect and appreciation from them always. Life is too short to be spend on brooding upon someone else’s opinion.
- You cannot please everyone. People who pile up advices to you are the ones, possibly, are least bothered about you. An action may be appreciated by some and resented by others. The truth is, it is impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations.
It is natural to see yourself in a position where you are being appreciated. But the more you tame yourself and guide your actions keeping in sync with other’s opinions, the little you will be your true self and live your dreams and expectations. So, make a conscious effort to unleash your inner potentials without worrying about opinions. Only then, you will be able to live a life of happiness and freedom.
