Why Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child Is Important?

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

Raising an emotionally intelligent child is the need of the hour, especially in times like these when the world is fighting against the COVID-19 and we in India are in a lockdown. You might ask what the connection is. Staying at home locked for 2 months with nowhere to go to is not easy and causes boredom and irritability. Emotional intelligence is about managing your emotions and working your way out of them and thus, it is important.

When we were growing up, I do not think our parents were particularly bothered about raising an emotionally intelligent child because they were trained to focus on the IQ and not the EQ. In today’s times of high stress levels and fewer people to share your feelings, being emotionally intelligent is important and therefore, emotional intelligence in kids is important. You should read the post Emotional Intelligence is More Important Than Intelligence to understand in detail.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotionally intelligence in kids or even adults means the following:

  • Understanding the feelings
  • Self-control on emotions
  • Handling the feelings in an appropriate manner
  • Understanding the emotions in others
  • Managing the relationships

Why is Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child Important?

Emotional intelligence begins developing in an individual in the early years as it is at this age that children start understanding emotions. Everything they do has an emotional message attached. The way you react to your child’s suggestions or requests or their emotions is what forms the core of their emotional capabilities. In the first four years, maximum brain development takes place and thus, to be able to get the basics of emotional intelligence in kids is essential.

Raising an emotionally intelligent child is not very tough as it may sound but needs some patience and time. To know some very effective tips, you should read the post, How to Strengthen Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence.

Signs You Are Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

How you are bringing up your child and working on your emotions can be an individual choice. Each child is different and so is the parenting style, thus, only general suggestions can be given. However, if you are consciously working on the emotional intelligence in your child, you can look for some signs that you are raising an emotionally intelligent child.

They Take Time to Think

If kids do not act impulsively and think before they react, you are doing a good job. This will come to them naturally when they are older, but if you teach them this in the early years, the foundation is set.

Communication is Important

In today’s fast-paced world, there is hardly any time for people to talk but if you as a family take out time to talk, it is the best thing to do. If you can sit as a family daily for some time and talk, it will be the best way to show the kids can express their feelings and they learn to understand them.

When you talk to the child, you can talk to them about your feelings and why you felt that way. Talking about your emotional capabilities helps them understand the reactions and will help you in raising emotionally intelligent kids. As O. A Battista says, “The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.”

Accept and Understand Their Feelings

When you as a parent, accept and understand their feelings, the children will also learn to do the same. When you see your child upset, you can enquire what has happened and not tell them this is not acceptable behavior. You need to calm them down and help them control their anger.

Small kids cannot understand what they feel. You as adults, help them to understand what they are feeling and why they are feeling that way. When you teach your kids to understand their feelings, they will learn how to handle them as well.

These things do not come easily but constant work is needed. With Little Miss A We read this series by Wayland which has books like Don’t Get Angry, Annie or Come Clean, Carlos. There are many in this series and an interesting way to teach basic emotions to kids in a very interactive way.

If you want to understand anxiety in toddlers and ways to handle it, read the post, 6 Helpful Tips to Handle Anxiety in Toddlers.

Understand Others

Empathy is an essential virtue that all kids must have. They must understand how others are feeling. If you can demonstrate this in your daily life with people around you and talking about it, the kids are bound to learn about it. Children always learn more about what you are as a parent and not from what you teach them.

Emotional intelligence in kids always comes when they not only understand their feelings but also of the others. When they do this, they will learn to respond correctly as well. Recently, I read the book You, Me and Empathy with my daughter, Little Miss A. It is a wonderful way to teach them the basic concept of empathy in an interactive way.

Discipline Not Dismiss

Parenting is not an easy task and there is a thin line on which you have to work. The idea of raising an emotionally intelligent child does not mean you focus on emotions and not behavior. You have to ensure you do not dismiss how they feel but at the same time set rules and boundaries of how they will behave. The child should at all times feel loved though an improvement in behavior is needed.



Raising an emotionally intelligent child is not easy and takes time. As they say, slow and steady wins the race. Emotional intelligence in kids does not come easily to them and takes time to develop. Every time, the child shows some positive signs, you must appreciate them and encourage them. For a child, the appreciation coming from a parent is the biggest achievement and it helps them.

What do you think is more important, EQ or IQ? Do share your views and how you teach your kids about emotional intelligence.

What do you think is more important, EQ or IQ? Do share your views and how you teach your kids about emotional intelligence.  


  1. I am glad things have changed and emotional intelligence is given ample importance at home and at school. I agree with you- it is essential to the healthy growth of a child!

  2. It takes a lot of patience to raise emotionally intellectual kids, but once it’s done, child will be able to handle all odds in life, all pointers have discussed rightly, for me Discipline is the most crucial content in setting the bar.

  3. In times like these in which we are under lockdown, it is emotional intelligence that comes in handy. It has been found that for success in life it the EQ of a child that matters that the IQ. The ability to cope with the hardships of life comes from being emotionally well developed.

  4. Agree that to raise an emotionally intelligent child is not easy. However, it is not difficult also. They just need a little more time than the others and once they are understood they work wonders.

  5. Raising an emotionally intelligent kid is not easy. It takes a lot of patience and self discipline too. But it is very important at the same time to teach kids to be empathetic and use their mind at the same time. One should teach kids to analyse the situation and then act accordingly.

  6. Undoubtedly it is EQ for me dear and I have done a lot of homework to raise a compassionate kid, I will still say your well researched article added to my knowledge. Thanks a lot for picking up such a vital theme

    • Thank you so much Roma. It is a tough task but when we see parents like you succeed we feel there is hope and with consistency we will be able to be able to raise compassionate kids as well. Thanks for reading 🙂

  7. I couldn’t have agreed more. I have been vocal about making my son believe in smashing gender stereotypes. I tell him it is OK to cry, to feel scared. It makes him have a good EQ, not some stupid thought of how it is more like girls’ behavior. Your post resonates with my thoughts.

  8. Your posts so beautifully touch an important aspect of a child’s development.. Patience and acceptance of a parent is extremely important..Very impressive post..I just wish all parents were so involved…

  9. I think communication is one of the most important aspect of raising an emotionally intelligent kid and of course it takes time and patience to develop this factor in kids. I really liked all the points suggested by you. will help lots of parents to think in that direction.

  10. Beautifully penned Arushi. I love the way you write in-depth explaining all the aspects of the topic. The emotional quotient in today’s world is more or equally important than IQ. Well thought post.


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