Parents: To Stop Judging People is the Need of the Hour

I do not think there will be many people who would not agree with me if I say we have become a very judgmental society. Social media has given us free tickets to judge and comment on anyone we want to. We often say we should stop judging people, but are we not guilty of doing it?

Kids observe what we do and they think that is the correct thing to do. Some realise their mistakes as adults and most do not and thus, this becomes a habit. As parents, we have to stop judging people especially in front of our kids. Let us be conscious and not make it normal for them.

Why Should We Stop Judging People?

It’s a human tendency to jump on to conclusions without weighing the possibilities and we judge people without even being consciously aware of it. Be it creating an impression of someone from their first look or from an inconvenient conversation, we tend to judge very easily. Sooner or later, we realise that we were wrong. But how often does that happen?

Someone would judge us too the way we do to them. While for few, judging others gives a sense of satisfaction about themselves and boosts their self-esteem, judging others is a harmful habit and should be avoided not for others but for own self. Here are a few reasons why we stop judging people.

Lack of Facts and Information

The first and the simplest reason why we should stop judging people is due to a lack of information. Before you even attempt to judge someone over an issue or situation, ask yourself, do you know the facts about the circumstance? Do you know the whole story from both party’s points of view?

Even if you find the person to be wrong in a situation, there should be no scope to judge the person because you are still unaware of the emotional or personal situation of the person and the circumstances which made him do wrong.

This is what we need to teach our kids. They need to know it is unfair to jump to conclusions and pass judgement until we know all the facts and the situation. What we see and what we perceive is not always true.

Stop Judging People As We are all Different

We all are different. Our choices, customs, the society we live in and grew up, financial conditions, and many other factors as such. Judging someone for something you dislike or despise is not wise. You may not like tattoos, but you cannot judge someone who loves them. Instead of judging someone basis their preferences, embrace the diversity and let that nurture your personality.

Again this is an important lesson we need to teach kids to accept the differences of people. Religious intolerance is one thing which I have never understood and I think it also stems from the same fact. Read our post, What are the Causes of Religious Intolerance In India. We are not ready to accept the religious beliefs of others and it causes hatred which is worse than judging too.

No Human is Perfect and We Need to Stop Judging People

We all have imperfections and along with these we also have certain qualities which are better than others, something that we are an expert at. Before you claim yourself to be a perfectionist and judge people for their mistakes, remember that people do certain things under certain circumstances and for various reasons. There is always more to learn from every human- if not skills then learn from their experiences, instead of judging their actions and thoughts.

Accepting the imperfections and learning the skills and experiences, form an important part of growing up. If we as adults, do not do the same, we will not be able to teach our kids the same.

Read our post, 6 Simple Reasons to Stop Judging a Mother

Treat People the Way you Wish to be Treated

Would you want someone to judge you for some of your actions without knowing your side of the story or perspective about the situation? No, right? Then it is unfair in your part to judge someone without knowing the facts. We live in a society where most of the work is done based on the relationship we build with fellow humans. Do not ruin a relationship that took years to build by judging the person and speaking ill about them.

This is one of the easiest things to explain to kids I feel. When Little Miss A comes to be complaining about a friend or someone, I try and tell her to think she is in place of the person and what would she do. More than often she realises her fault and is happy to play again. I hope this becomes a part of her nature as she grows up and she will be less judgmental.

Cultivate Tolerance

Tolerance is a virtue that very few possess. If you cannot help someone solve a problem or assist them in finding a solution, mind your own business instead of judging the person. Cultivate tolerance- use meditation as a medium. This will not only save you from wasting time judging others’ situations and actions but will help you in finding a solution to your own problems.

Appearances are Deceptive

It is said, “Do not judge a book by its cover”. Therefore, it is unfair and unwise to judge someone by their appearance. If someone does not carry a luxury bag or does not dine out often, chances are they have other financial commitments rather being stingy. Respect the choices they make. If someone wears Indian clothes, they cannot be called ‘uncool’. What should matter is how people are and not how they look and what they eat.

Respect Others and Stop Judging People

Respect is earned when you give respect to others, irrespective of age or social status. When you judge someone, you not only disrespect the person but also invite disrespect for yourself for the image you create for yourself among others. Surely if you are judging someone, you should be receptive to being judged as well. So try and stop judging people and live more peacefully.

Let us Stop Judging People

When you judge someone, you do not define them but define yourself. It is the image you create for yourself in front of your family, friends and associates. If you wish to earn respect and regarded as a wise human, it is time that you stop judging people. Be less judgmental, live and let live.

The future lies in the hands of our kids. We have learnt, unlearnt, realised what we did and where we went wrong. To change the mind set of adults around me is not possible. I cannot change the views of my family too. I can say but I do not think it will make much of a difference. But what I can do and I am trying my best to do is to try and not be judgmental in front of my daughter and try that she does not judge people and learns to accept them. Read my post, How to Teach Kindness and Empathy to Kids. So let us stop judging people and make the world a better place, if not for us for our next generation.