Expect the Unexpected During Childbirth

October 2015, I saw the two lines on my home pregnancy test kit. The most beautiful phase of my life started from there. I had a lot of problem in conceiving so my doctor only congratulated me after the first ultrasound at six weeks. From then on, my only mission in life was to do the best for the baby and know everything about pregnancy, child birth and child care.

I do not even remember the number of books I read, the amount I read on Google and how my pregnancy apps became my most favorite on my phone. And to top it all I joined the birthing classes at my hospital and I dragged my husband to them.

With all this, I felt I was well equipped to handle my childbirth and my baby. After 18 months of delivering my daughter, I think though these books and apps were extremely helpful, there were many things no one told me about. They made it sound so easy. I am not saying it was difficult but it was something I did not expect. Let me tell you some things that at least, I did not expect.

The Birth

At the end of the classes, they made us write a birth plan which we had to give to the doctor. I went and chose a suite for delivery as I did not want to see random people when I had my labor pains. Everybody told me a normal delivery was the best thing for the baby and a c section was only done when the doctors wanted to make money. The last point was never a concern as my hospital charged the same for both the deliveries and my doctor was looking forward to doing a normal delivery for me.

I made a plan, not my baby. So, at 34 weeks, the little one stopped moving creating panic. After 48 hours of no movement, the doctor had to decide to go for an emergency c section. I had ever thought I will need a surgery. My first thought was this is bad. But what was the option at that time? The baby or the right and the wrong. My prenatal exercise classes and the birthing classes all went out of the window.

I kept telling my doctor this will be painful and how will I take care of a pre-term baby with stitches and so on and so forth. She told me to stay calm. Now I can say a c section is not bad at all. It is not the end of the world if you have to deliver via a surgery. So, my advice to all the would be gorgeous mummies out there is to keep an open mind.

Recovery

The recovery after a cesarean is not as bad as people make it sound like. Yes, the stitches can hurt but doctors today manage the pain well. Natural child birth can be very painful too and can cause injuries too and you end up with stitches.  A little extra care and you are doing fine in a few days. I was walking 15 hours after the surgery. The baby gives you the strength to fight all odds and recovery is not difficult.

Breastfeeding

I can go on and on about this one, but I will not. No one ever told me that breastfeeding can be a task. In fact, I was always told mothers choose not to feed the babies and these mothers are lazy and selfish. No one told me about a mother who has low supply. Why was I not told, it is normal for many babies not to latch easily and especially if it’s a pre-term baby? I never read anywhere that you will take a few days or weeks to get in sync with the feeding and it was fine to use formula. My advice, breastfeeding is undoubtedly good but do not lose sleep over it. Formula fed babies are good too. No book will ever say this, but I am telling you out of experience.

Look and Feel Pregnant

The 40-day period is important for you. You need to rest and let the body come back to normal. You will feel pregnant still as the stomach will take time to go back and the hormones will still play havoc. Take care of your emotions and find someone to talk to. Keeping the emotions inside you will lead to depression. Do not ignore yourself to look after the baby. In India especially, there are many who will take care of your baby but there will be no one to take care of you. You will need to do that yourself.

In no way I am saying, do not read books and use apps. They are very helpful and they make the whole process easier. The weekly videos showing you how the baby is growing inside you are amazing. Read them, follow them, but expect the unexpected.

“Motherhood is the greatest and the hardest thing.”