As adults, we often hear learning from mistakes is important. But do we allow our kids to do the same? I am sure you have heard the quote,
“I believe love is blind, because I started to love you before I saw you”
This is something any parent would understand and agree to. When a child is born, parents are born too. Their unconditional love for the baby just grows as the baby grows and achieves new milestones. They teach the child everything and comfort them every time they fail. A parent knows how to support, protect and nurture the child. In our aim to be a pillar of strength for our kids we fail to give the allow learning; learning from mistakes.
Letting children make mistakes and learn from them is essential for the development of their emotional and social skills. This does not mean we let them get hurt or are not with them when they need us. I mean we have to support them in what they do rather than doing it for them.
As a parent, I understand that it can be unnerving to see your child make mistakes. We always want to run to them and solve the problem. But this is wrong as they will never learn the difference between right and wrong. As children grow we have to limit the help we extend to them. This way they will enter adulthood as confident grown-ups, capable of handling any problem that comes their way and learning from mistakes.
(Read our post, Things To Keep In Mind While Communicating with Kids)
Table of Contents
Why Should You Let Them Make Mistakes?
Many parents feel the kids will learn the right and wrong on their own. We often do not realize this constant support becomes habitual and has an adverse effect later in life. Learning from mistakes is one of the best ways to let the child learn. This gives them confidence and immensely helps in decision making. Let us see how learning from mistakes is important and we should allow our kids to do the same.
Decision Makers
We often see that your child will insist on doing something and as you know the danger involved you do not let them go ahead. Instead, if we let them decide and do it, it will help them learn to make decisions. If they succeed, it is great. If they fail, they will understand they made a mistake and will be careful next time.
A small example, Little Miss A has always been interested in the incense stick I light. As a two-year-old, she went ahead and picked it up, despite me telling her not to several times. She got burnt on her cheek. It was a small burn, but she learnt her lesson of not playing with anything with fire. Kids like to explore and our telling them not to, does not help but reduces their risk taking ability. Learning from mistakes and taking decisions are two things very important for their development.
Understanding
We correct the mistakes our children make and do not even explain to them the reason behind it. They just know that when they fail, their parents will correct things from them. We should let them make mistakes so that they think twice before doing the same thing again. This way they understand their mistake and why they failed.
Confidence
It is important for a child’s confidence to make mistakes. They will understand how important it is to think before making a decision. They also learn how to cope with failures. This will make them more confident to handle any tough situation and make them ready to try new things in life. Learning from mistakes gives them the confidence that even if things go wrong, there is a way to set them right again.
Strengths and Weaknesses
When a child takes decisions and makes mistakes, they understand their strengths and their weaknesses. This will be extremely helpful to them as they grow up and they will understand how to use their strengths and overcome their weaknesses.
Each child is different and you should never compare them. Read our post on Positive Parenting Tips to know more.
Faith
When a child sees that in spite of their making mistakes, we support them, their faith in us increases. They will understand that though they are not perfect, their parents still love them. This will build a bond of love and confidence which will be their strength. The faith a child has in his parents matches no other and this is one of the best ways to ensure it stays the same forever.
It is Not Easy to See Them Fail
As a parent, seeing a child hurt or fail or upset is the worst. It is not as easy as it sounds but then parenting is not a child’s play. We have to be strong and help them in learning from mistakes. It is not easy but certain things need to be done and this is one of them. Read some tips you can use to practice this:
Help Them
When your child asks you for help, you should either try and do the task together or let them do it first their way and then help them to improve. Never do the task for them. This will defeat the purpose and they will not learn anything. This kind of help can be started when the kids are very small also.
Do Not Answer
When your child asks you a question, do not share your knowledge immediately. You should encourage them to try and ask them their opinion. This way you will know the level of help they need and you will be able to support them as they find the answer. Let these tasks be taken as experiments where it is natural for them to fail. They will make mistakes and learn their lessons.
Encouragement
We all have expectations from our children and failure is something that cannot be avoided. Do not focus on your child’s failures. On the other hand, share their learning with them and how it has helped them grow. It is important to encourage them to try again with more hard work the next time using what they have learnt.
Guidance
When the children face a problem, guiding them to face them is essential. Reflecting on the problem and guiding them is definitely time consuming but it will help them develop self-concept, self-confidence and judgement and will also make them sensitive to other people.
Lose a Game
Do not always let your child win a game by not making the best move. They should understand that winning is not easy and losing is a part and parcel of life. When they lose a game, they will learn to strategize better and learn from their mistakes to ensure they win it the next time.
Learning from mistakes is Important
It is not easy for a parent to see their child fail and get frustrated. We have to prepare them to face the worst and be confident. Preparing for the challenges of life in a loving and secure environment is the best upbringing you can give to your children. You do not want your children to fail when you allow them to make mistakes and learning from mistakes. All that is needed is to let them learn about life from their own experiences and grow into responsible and strong-minded people.
Read Books and Activities to Help Kids Learn From Their Mistakes
