Marriage is an important milestone in everyone’s life. It is a relationship we form by choice and for life. Once you finish your education and get a job, the next natural thing that you are expected to do is to get married. The problem here is that no one tells you about marriage or there is no diploma course you can do to learn its nuances. It is something you learn about with experience. Another major problem here is the influence of movies we have on our minds and on our relationship. We enter a marriage with lots of unrealistic expectations which are far away from ground reality.
Every marriage goes through its share of ups and downs. The trick is to stick to it and you will eventually find a way out. The rate of divorces is increasing all over the world, and one of the main reasons behind this is unrealistic expectations and low tolerance and patience levels. I have been married for six years now and now when I think back, I realize, life would have been very different if I knew some things about being married. Let me talk about a few:
Enter It with No Alternate Plan
If you get married thinking you have a choice to end it whenever you want to, do not think about it too. People might call this thought old fashioned but I think it is true. I am not talking of cases of domestic violence, cheating or dowry; I am talking of a normal marriage. Enter it with full commitment and then you will always find your means and ways to make it work.
Its Not Me or You, it is Us
A marriage is a union of two human beings and for two human beings. Never enter a relationship thinking about the happiness of one person. There has to be love and respect for each other, and more than anything else as the definition of happiness anyways keeps changing. Try and keep the other person happy but not at the cost of completely ignoring your happiness. You both are in this together and need to stay happy together.
Do Not Compare
The three Cs are very important in a marriage, comparison, compromise and communication. Let us talk about the first one; compare. As no individuals are the same, no two relationships can be the same. You can always learn from others but do not envy them as you never know the truth in their marriage. What can be important to one couple, might be useless for the other. Build your relationship as a unique one.
Learn to Compromise
The second C, compromise. To be together you need to learn to compromise. You have to respect the needs and wants of the other person. You need to put someone before you and thus, learning to let go and compromise is important.
Communication is the Key
Third and the most important, communication. Not only marriage, but communication is important in every relationship in life. If you do not communicate your feelings and keep them inside you, they will come out in a wrong way which will do more harm than good. You should trust your partner to be able to handle your emotions and feelings and many times discussing them openly is very helpful.
Do Not Run Away from Conflict
No two individuals are the same and thus, conflicts are natural in any relationship and marriage is no exception. When a couple fights, people around them assume there are problems. And this thought makes things worse. The idea is not to avoid conflicts but to be able to manage them in a mature way so that it makes your life easier.
Marriage is not simple yet not difficult. As no one can or will teach you about marriage, you need to work around it on your own. Knowing some basic things and entering it with an open mind and full commitment is the key to a happy marriage.