The dictionary definition of marriage states, “the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship.” However, a marriage is more than a legal union of two people. Marriage needs physical and emotional intimacy equally to be successful. While in some cultures of the world, people get married at an early age- in the early twenties while few do not really worry about the age of marriage and wait for the right time and for the right partner to settle down as man and wife. More than what is followed in a society or culture, it is the decision of an individual and there are exceptions to the standard norms regarding the age to be married.
As people follow different cultures, their faith and beliefs differ too. What is accepted in a certain society is a taboo in another. Take for instance the diversity of Indian culture. In certain Indian culture, it is a taboo for the woman or the man to stay unmarried after the age of 24. Though the beliefs and customs are now changing, a clear majority is still aligned to the old beliefs and customs. You may often find yourself in a debate whether getting married early is scientifically and socially beneficial or getting married at a later age. Though I do not advocate any belief since these are decisions made by individuals and can play differently for different set of people, in this discussion I wanted to focus on getting married in the early 20s. So here I get you few pros and cons of getting married in your early 20s.
You may also like: 6 Things that Keep an Emotional Connection in Marriage
Let’s Start on a positive note and look at few pros of getting married in the early 20s.
As you are married early, in your 20s, you are at a stage to explore and know more about your partner. Marriage is an institution where you do not really get into a legal bond to please the society. To sustain your marriage a clear understanding of the partner’s needs and preferences is very important. You get more time with your partner not just to explore the emotional side but live your dreams of travelling and exploring the world together with your partner. As you evolve as a couple you tend to lay your trust and faith in the person to guide your further in your career aspects too. The couple gets more time to plan their future- career and family in a better way and still enjoy their 20s to the fullest.
The arrival of a child surely brings in a lot of emotions and attachments between the couple and happiness to the family. But then your child becomes your priority. You might have often heard couples mentioning how less they get to spend time with each other with the arrival of a child and majority of the time goes in rearing the child and ensuring ways to make the child’s future secure and financially stable. Getting married in your early twenties gives you enough time to plan a family; not just biologically but also in terms of finances. Plus you get to spend more time with each other before you start a family and understand each other’s views and preferences about a family.
Who doesn’t love kids? And if you plan to have a second child, an early marriage in the twenties gives you enough time to have that spacing between kids. This not just helps your plan your finances better but also do not biologically stress the mother’s health. Having a second child in a short span of time in the late 30s adversely affects the health of the mother during pregnancy and post-partum but also makes it difficult for the parents to bring up the children through smooth parenting.
You may also like: Why Getting Married is Important?
Though there might be a lot of positive benefits of getting married in your early twenties, there are certain demerits to it.
You might have married the girl or guy of your choice in your early twenties making vows of being with each other forever, but often this backfire when you realise a fairy-tale love story and taking up the responsibilities as a couple are poles different. Back in our teens we liked the guy with flashy clothes and the one who was famous in the women circle. But gradually when we grow up and mature we realise that we need someone who can make practical decisions and is compatible with us. Compatibility and understanding in a marriage is very crucial and a great deal of it comes with maturity with age. Surveys have shown that divorce rates are higher among people married at an early age only to find out later that there exists minimum scope of understanding and compatibility of thoughts and ideologies.
You may also like: The Challenges After Marriage: Try and Overcome Them
Unless you are born with a silver spoon or have managed to bag a fantastic pay check, the twenties are the time you develop your career and be financially self-independent. This is the time where your energy levels are high and thirst to succeed and appetite to take risks is more. With a partner to take care of or support the house leaves very less scope to make it big in becoming self-dependent. Marriage is not just a union of two individuals but also involves the families. And with lot of social prejudices and responsibilities at hand, one would not think of quitting the consistent paying job to pursue the hobby as a career option.
On similar note on getting self-dependent, early marriages often put an end to your career aspirations. If one of the partners decides to pursue higher studies, there is not much money or maturity existing to decide on staying separate or quitting the job to take their career or dreams of higher studies further.
There can be plenty of points that you can debate on this topic. Surely it depends from person to person how they balance and manage their lives with the partners.