Accept it or not, we all have needs. It is in the human nature to have needs, but there are many who just say they have none. It is not possible. A marriage is one of the strongest relationships we have as this we build by choice. The two people in it though are together for life, have different needs. It is a proven fact that unmet needs in a marriage are the root cause of all fights and arguments. The more the fights, the more stressful the relationship becomes, many times leading to a divorce.
Essentially, a husband and wife have different needs may be for the same thing most of the times. Having clarity and an understanding of some basic things will give a direction to the marriage and help couples resolve issues. I have been married for more than five years now and I do not think I am an expert in giving advice but there are some places where I feel our needs are different and how we address them is important. If if a couple realizes and understands each other, it will make life easier. I do not say that you always need to give in to the needs of the other person; I am just suggesting just acknowledge and strike a balance. You will have a happier and a stronger marriage if you take care of each other’s needs. Let us see some basic differences and how they can be handled to improve the relationship.
The Most Important Thing
For a woman, the most important thing in her relationship is that the husbands tell them and show them how much they love them. When husbands through a small gesture show their appreciation and love, the wife will find it extremely romantic. On the other hand, for a man the most thing in the marriage is respect. For men love and respect go hand-in-hand. If the wife respects them, they feel they are loved and they have an irreplaceable place in her life.
Husbands can do small things just like appreciation what the wife does for his family or just tell her how important she is. I would also say usually men are not good at expressing themselves so sometimes even the wife should understand their love by seeing the small things they do. It always does not need to be said explicitly. Respecting your man for what he does for you and your children and your family, is not difficult. In fact, a marriage where both husband and wife have respect for each other will be an ideal one.
A man’s way to solve problems is very different from that of a woman. If a woman has any issues or is in a dilemma, she will like to talk about it. Communication is essential for a woman and thus, talking to her husband is her stress buster. A man is completely different in this regard. A husband if has a problem needs his time off where he will sort his feelings and thoughts.
The balance here is for one person to understand the other. A man needs to respect, be honest and listen to what the wife is saying. On the other hand, a wife needs to give time to her husband to be able to talk. Pushing him will never solve any issue and will only make matters worse. If you both have an argument, the best thing is to give it some time and then talk it out. This way you will not only solve the matter but will make your marriage stronger.
Communication, as I said earlier also, is very important for a woman in her relationship with a husband, and this is the way she likes to bond. Wives want to a conversation and talk about different things and experiences, and thus, sometimes some alone time where they can talk is very essential to them to strengthen their relationship. This is not the same for a man. Husbands prefer to bond over any activity. They will not like to sit at home and have a conversation; instead, they would like to indulge in some activity and share the experiences. This sometimes can just mean a lunch date or a trip to the mall or a workout in the gym.
Balancing these two is not very difficult I would say. Indulge in some activity once in a while where you can talk. A nice weekend lunch with good food and drinks and some conversation can be an ideal way to bond and plan your life together. Going for small weekend getaways where it is just your small family, is perfect for you both to bond and also for the father to spend time and bond with the kids, which he might miss out in the stressful work life. A few minutes of daily conversation might just be the daily dose a wife needs to keep going.
For a woman, love means an emotional connection. They need to talk and bond before they can or rather would like to have sex. It is difficult for most women to instantly have sex and this is something all husbands need to understand. This is the reason; a woman will not always be ‘in the mood’ and knowing this is essential for a husband. Having sex is the way a man shows he loves his wife. When compared to a woman, the sex drive of a man is higher and thus, this makes sex essential for them. And I do not need to add, men can have sex at a moment’s notice. When it comes to sex, respecting each other’s feelings and understanding them, is the ideal way.
Science has proven it that the way a man and a woman think is different. When their thought process is different, it is logical their needs vary. Understanding and respecting each other’s thoughts and feelings is the best way to have a stronger marriage.