The moment you reach your late twenties, the family relatives and even at times friends ask you ‘When are you getting married’. At least in India, the people around you expect you to get married before you turn 30. And to add on, if you are a woman, the same question keeps coming from every person you know! ‘Oh you have a boyfriend? What’s stopping you from getting married then?’ ‘It will be difficult for you to conceive after you turn 32 with this lifestyle’ and the opinions and reasons are never ending! I would not deny, but I have asked my elder cousins and friends the same thing, yet have retaliated when I was asked the same thing. I felt my career and aspirations were more important than marriage at that age. Often I thought marriage would bind me in a commitment which I may not be able to handle efficiently. And at times it has been financial concerns. ‘Will I be able to support a family with the current lifestyle and savings?’ The reasons were various from my end too!
Probably I had reasons that bred upon my anticipation and anxiety over failing in a marriage or commitment. But when you actually start to think in reverse, you actually figure out, that it is not a very bad idea altogether! Start with ‘I am going to get married’ and then think of how you are going to make it work keeping your aspirations intact or let’s say making some tweaks to the plan and not letting go of any of your dreams.
I have also known friends who were dating at an age where I was busy building a significant place for myself at my job! I remember having one such conversation with a colleague who was thrilled to have had a betrothal recently and was looking forward to the wedding. She was very clear in her thoughts that she loved the man she was getting married to and felt compatible and thus the decision of marriage. And why she wanted to get married early? So that she can have a good number of years with her spouse and bring her dreams to life before she started planning for a family with him! The thought did not seem absurd to be and she sounded pretty logical! It was then I had to ask myself, ‘Why getting married is important?’ Honestly I have never spent my nights worrying about my unmarried status even in my late twenties (and neither have my parents! Seems a quite weird though) but this is something I had in my mind and have been constantly looking for answers from various people whenever the topic of marriage and the need for it came up!
And something that I have learnt from all of those conversations is- listen to your conscious! There will always be one in a group who would claim to be a ‘feminist’ or any of the ‘nists’ and proclaim that one can definitely survive alone, even without marrying. While the love birds in the group will highly speak of marriage being a spiritual institution! Well, I do not deny any of the facts. But then I ask myself, ‘Will I be okay staying alone?’ May be not! I have been dating someone whom I loved and found myself completely comfortable with! Someone I can talk to on all the lows and highs, the worst day at work and then also celebrate my small promotion with! And I clearly knew the person was genuinely happy for me on my success and concerned when I was troubled! Spending my life with someone who can support me and make me grow as a person, did not seem to be a tough task at all! That, what seems to be a basic reason why a marriage is important! You may have plenty of friends who have been standing with you through your tough times. But your spouse is the person who actually knows you better than anyone else, since they see you every day, understand your habits and know when you can be the most unpredictable and vulnerable! Marriage makes you grow! It makes realize the importance of selflessness in a relationship! When you support your partner, you are not only sharing the love and intimacy but also making the person grow in terms of career or personal relationships.
We have seen celebrities promoting the idea of single mothers. Well, kudos to all the single mothers who have adopted babies or even given birth and raising them single-handedly. However, being married does not come in your way of adopting a baby or have one of your own. It rather makes the entire process even simpler. Marriage has been considered a moral union between two individuals in the society since ages. And here comes another reason why getting married is important. You and your spouse can still plan to adopt a baby or have one of your own or a combination and can share the responsibility of raising a kid! Being a mother is the best feeling any woman can have and what else can get better than sharing that special moment- even in case of adoption, with that special person in your life. Yes, love does not need marriage to stay together, but marriage is a bond like no other which gives you a person to come back to at the end of a long day and share every minute detail in your life! It is through this serious bond of marriage that you truly understand the sense of commitment towards a partner!
Marriage teaches you how to love. Despite all the flaws in your partner, you still love them for all the big little things they do for you, the way they care and make your life simpler by sharing your responsibilities. It gives you a sense of security and oneness and you know the person you are married to will be by your side whenever you have a tough phase.
While physical relationship and intimacy is one of the most important aspects in a relationship between two individuals involved romantically, the bond of marriage gives it a completely new feeling altogether! Many would debate that a marriage is not important to be physically involved with someone. True! But then would you not prefer to spend your days with someone, share an emotional connect, take care of each other as man and wife and get that emotion take a wild turn in between the sheets?